[The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Thu, Jul 8, 2010 at 7:15 PM
To: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
[Custodial Dad]:
The best that I can gather from your communication about [daughter]’s trip to [other state] this summer is that you are attempting to frustrate sharing [daughter]’s time with me.
This is unacceptable and truly heartbreaking, besides law- breaking.
1. I have already specified to you that my family and I will be at the [other state address] address. My Mom and my Dad
will be there with me and [daughter]. We do not have spaceshuttles, ATV’s, battleships, firearms, or firecrackers nor do we know any men or women in our lives who would have those things to endanger us or [daughter]. Please stop this questioning. It is not our reality here in our home. Reality is: [daughter] will be in a home she grew up in. It is safe where we live. We have a nice yard and sidewalks for her to ride her bike. We have many bathrooms and a beautiful kitchen and a pantry full of food for her. We have vehicles to drive her to town and ice-cream shops to visit. Let”s move on, [Custodial Dad].
If you want to pay for a landline and have it put in at the house, please let my attorney know and send me an email. We have cell phones. That is the best I can offer you. I will provide my parents’ numbers again for you and mine.
Here they are: Grand-dad [XXX] [xxx] 0315. Granny [xxx] 2870 Mom [XXX] [xxx] 5236.
I have sent the google earth physical adress and location of the house. Here it is again. follow the link please.
http://maps.google.com/x
2. Regarding my dating actions: I am a graduate RN studying for my national exams so I can better care for our daughter financially. If my decision to date or not to date puts anyone in [daughter]’s space when she is with me I will be sure to notify my attorney and yours and you so we can have that verified and confirmed before [daughter] comes to visit again. My father and mother will be with [daughter] when I am at work, if that begins in August. You will have calls with [daughter] daily, so you can see how she is. You are welcome to ask her if anyone is around who Mom is dating. Feel free. When I am ready to be engaged or married, I will make sure you are aware so we can transition [daughter] and take her to therapy or whatever you deem correct to make [daughter] more comfortable. That time is not now. Any further inquiries into your speculation or “informed” opinion of my dating life or lack of it is going to be considered harassment and an effort to furstrate my time with [daughter] this summer.
3. You are authorized to do everything as a custodial parent to get [daughter]’s social security number. As I have restated, I do not have her card. But you can get it. Call your local state office.
4. I understand that you have defined daily contact as inclusive of emails and phone. I will get Dr. [home town therapist]’s schedule specifications from him. The call records and emails will speak for themselves when that is required. I suggest you refrain from your subjective logs. Once was enough for that.
the generosity you seen to offer with [webcam software], which I am unable to do at this time with this computer, is heavily out-weighted by your denial of time for months now. So , please spare me the litany of your efforts to promote contact for me and my family. I wish you luck in challenging my mother’s fitness as a caregiver. Furthermore, she has been nothing but kind to you in asking to have [daughter]. What else will you claim about me or my family to prevent [daughter] from having access to time with us? Your opinions are self-serving if you intend to try to restrict and limit or deny [daughter] from contacting my parents or me. Your lack of offering and adhering to time for [daughter] and me and my family has cost me tremendous attorney fees. My father is a real estate agent, my mother a pediatric nurse and my sister a state attorney. What credibility do you attempt to question? You, [Custodial Dad] [last name], of all people. Lets’ not play games. It will be a tough day in court, I gurantee you. So, please do not increase my costs by frustrating sharing [daughter]’s time further. It is part of your responsibility to ensure that [daughter] has time with me. My mother is helping with costs and transportation.
5. As no person’s opinion is objective to verify nutrition, please take [daughter] to her pediatrician for a comprehensive nutrional physical assessment, inclusive of blood work with complete nutrition profile. I will be sure to call their office to verify my request. It would be good for all of us to know, as she is an eight year old girl. Your presentation that [daughter]’s account of her nutrition is of her siblings and not her diet is concerning and invalidating of the child. I doubt that she is selectively reliable in her contributions.
If there is any other issue about [daughter]’s visit here or any contest to her having a nurtition blood profile with chemistry profile before she gets here, you will direct all subsequent communication directly to my attorney through yours.
I look forward to a finalization of flight arrangements by the AM.
Regards,
[The Ex] [last name]
From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Fri, July 2, 2010 7:17:03 PM
Subject: Re: [daughter]’s Nutrition, Address & Requests for Call adherence
[The Ex]:
My replies are contained within the text of your email to ensure I address each concern. The registered letters that were sent to you and attached to this very email, remain unanswered and I would kindly request that you address my concerns including the very real lack of travel arrangements and the boyfriend who may or may not be in possession of fire arms in [daughter]’s presence.
On Jul 2, 2010, at 5:28 PM, [The Ex] [last name] wrote:
[Custodial Dad]:
1. Address for mailing is at : [other state address] X, [town in other state], [other state] [zip], as previously verified to you and here again. We get all mail. Resend anything to this address and it need not be certified as we receive all mail sent without any problems from all over the country. Please update your records. Send all mail to this address until any update.
Thank you for this update on mailing address. I shouldn’t need to remind you but all of our communication is done in writing and this is the ONLY time you have acknowledged use of this address. I will continue to send certified mailings until you are adequately addressing my concerns and/or are willing to sign up for the online communication website that was suggested to ensure you are indeed receiving my communications.
I will re-mail [daughter]’s mailings to the above address. I wish you would have stated this sooner as it would have saved [daughter] some heartache.
2. Updated summer house for [daughter]’s holiday: Upon reconsideration of the lake-house option, we have decided to stay together in [community] when [daughter] is here in August. Specifically, [daughter] will stay at our family home with my parents and me here in Lehigh for this summer’s visit, as she has spent most of her childhood in this home. Address is: [other state address] Court, [town in other state], [other state] in the gated community of [community]. My parents and I will care for [daughter] full time. Mail will REMAIN at the [street] Heights home.
This is the address information you need to reach me via mail.
and to know [daughter]’s living accommodations for her stay with me and my family.
If there is any change of address for me to be reached via mail, I assure you that I would best verify that address so you can mail to me concerning our daughter.
You stated,
“we have decided to stay together in [community]...” specifically whom are you speaking of when you state ‘we?’ I
am requesting a landline to this address to verify that [daughter] will be indeed residing at this residence. It is CRUCIAL that I have a way to verify the location of [daughter] as evidenced by your history of moving and switching locations without notice and concealing [daughter]’s whereabouts.
2. [daughter]’s identification: As I have repeated all summer via text response to your phone, I do not have [daughter]’s social security card to verify or give you her social security number. I am sure you can find out through state offices. I would be happy to help if I did know that information.
How did you get her medical coverage without that information?
Are you stating that you do not have an accurate social security number for [daughter]? [daughter] has maintained health insurance from before my time at Shawnee
3. Contact with [daughter]: I have asked repeatedly for more time with [daughter]. My parents have asked for specific weekends for contact and visits. I have asked for visit time with [daughter]. All have been denied to date. We have a court order for daily phone calls which you have independently modified to four times a week. Out of those four times you determined, you have decided it sufficient that [daughter]’s contact with her mother be a voicemail, though I plead through the text messages to have you all return calls and though I call back to talk to [daughter]. [webcam software] is a great idea, but the basic contact is not even respected for [daughter].
As I have texted you this week, please adhere to the daily calls as ordered for [daughter]’s contact with me.
Allow time for her maternal grandparents , her aunt (my sister in [third state]), her friends that call and have seen you all in town - all of us to have time with [daughter].
However generous you’d like to seem, your offer of [webcam software] is heavily overshadowed by not following through with a basic court order.
Additionally, we would have to determine a more reliable web-live video communication option as you claimed such
dissatisfaction with my [webcam software] contact in the past, despite all efforts to use [webcam software] with you for [daughter].
In short- Call as directed by court. Allow [daughter] time to spend with me in person. Lets kindly start there, [Custodial Dad].
To start, I have no text messages from you requesting anything. Your last text to me was 10 days ago when your line disconnected and we attempted to call you twice after you requested a return call via text. The text before that was 3 weeks ago where I requested [daughter]’s documents. The last text initiated by you was on seven weeks ago when you were attempting to reach [daughter] at 8:30 after we attempted to reach you twice (we returned the call the next day.) The court order specifies daily contact which is adequately addressed via email and phone calls. Due to her summer camp schedule, we can not offer more day time weekly calls.
The call and email schedule was established by Dr. [home town therapist], as I previously stated to you. I have also welcomed you to contact him to verify and alter the arrangement as it was based on the inappropriate contact and conversations that you continued to have with [daughter]. [daughter] is instructed that if she does reach voicemail with you, she is to inform us and we will try again at a later time. She has never simply left a voicemail without attempting to call again or without you returning the call (I will remind you that I have a complete and accurate call log.) On the days that there is no contact, she called at least twice and the call was not returned by you. She has mentioned several excuses: you were ill, you were studying and/or you did not have signaX However, if the return call is long after the 8 PM deadline and [daughter] is already getting ready for bed or in bed, we have assured she returns your call the next day whether it is a call day or not. [daughter] has been instructed that she may call you ABOVE AND BEYOND the established schedule, however she has chosen not to do so with the exception of once. To be honest, it is a struggle to get her on the telephone some days but once there she does seem to enjoy the conversation. I will direct you to the April mailing in which I offered to alter the schedule to accommodate your work schedule, which, again, you did not address.
[daughter] has specifically requested [webcam software] to be able to SEE you in person as she has no photos of you and she would like a chance of a face-to-face contact. [webcam software] IS a part of the court order and as stated to you by myself, my wife, [daughter] herself, and reiterated by Dr. [home town therapist], [webcam software] is a better option than phone as that gives [daughter] a chance to actually see you. My belief was that the faulty connection was deliberate and if you are able to [webcam software], please attempt to have a dedicated line whether DSL or cable modem to [webcam software] with [daughter]. In addition, my dissatisfaction was with the infrequency of contact and your intimidation and inhibition of allowing [daughter] contact without your presence and direction. As evidenced by your contact with [daughter], she will have total direction on the length and content of her contact with you. I have already ensured that contact will be without technical difficulties on our end as we enjoy [webcam software] conversations with many friends and family across the world without issue.
I am uncomfortable scheduling any visitation with your parents and your sibling, I think that is best reserved for you to handle. I am unaware of their living arrangements, home settings and to be honest, I am very uncomfortable with your mother supervising our daughter as evidenced by the time she has shared with [daughter] in my presence. In addition, the behavior your mother exhibited recently towards me leaves me questioning. [daughter] is in contact with your father via email and although we have left him messages, she has only spoken with him once I believe. She has been and is in contact with your mother and sister. [daughter] is aware that she may call them at any time and if they call, [daughter] does answer and/or returns the call if we are unavailable. She is aware that she may initiate calls but I do have her set to call at least once a month, which apparently, is more than she did when she was in [other state].
I have additionally requested you to give [daughter] the phone numbers and/or email addresses of her friends. The several times that her friends have called, she did speak with them over the telephone. I have not interfered with her contacts that were initiated by you, however, I requested that you NOT give out my personal information and that [daughter] contact them directly. I am unaware what friends you are speaking about that have seen us “in town” but being that [daughter] supposedly left [home state] at the age of 2, I am doubtful she has any recollection of friends that are here.
4. [daughter]’s Nutrition- You speak to [daughter]’s speech, but my logical concern is her nutrition.
What is her typical breakfast, lunch and dinner on the alternate diet to which your family adheres?
Has her eating changed since the implant in her mouth?
What have you done to evaluate her adustment to the distinct nutrition changes from the traditional western diet she was on for eight years as compared to the diet she is on in your care?
Please let me know. I would like to understand how you were able to be successful with both changes to her foods and her mouth in the four months she has been with you.
[daughter] has a complete and nutritious diet... she meets and exceeds all dietary requirements in nutritional content yet she does enjoy her sweets that she has with lunch and after dinner that she shares about with you each evening phone call She is on soy milk, as she insists that she is “lactose intolerant” despite evidence to the contrary, i.e. her consumption of ice cream and cheese without any issues. She eats poultry and seafood including fish as stated to you in the April Mailing. She has had very little adjustment issues with the dietary changes as the only true difference is the elimination of pork and beef from her diet. [daughter] still enjoys many foods that she enjoyed with you: chicken, macaroni and cheese, yogurts, ice cream, turkey, shrimp, fruit pops, cookies etc. Again, I will reiterate that the only distinction in diet is that we do not consume pork or beef. She may be telling you about the diet that some of her siblings that are on a special/prescribed diet but that rarely affects [daughter].
Her eating has not changed at all with the palate extender... please review the video and links I provided to explain the procedure as it is most certainly not an “implant.” The exception, she is not allowed to have hard foods like popcorn, bubble gum or sticky foods as I stated to you in previous mailings as well. She has done fantastically with you as I have updated you monthly with and suggested you speak with [orthodontist]. His office will happily educate you on the very non-invasive procedure.
Your tone is definitely confrontational. I am unsure if you are trying to make a case here or not, however [daughter] has adjusted very well to life here. If you took the time to read the updates, you would be fully aware of what her life is like here. We lead a very normal life style that she seemed to have been craving, according to Dr. [home town therapist]. She has made distinct changes in lifestyles: she eats well balanced meals at every meal, has consistent parenting, sleeps well within the range that a normal child should, has some chores that are age appropriate, has done excellent in school and summer camp. She loves her siblings and is appropriately affectionate with both [Step Mother] and myself, which is important as she was privy to the parade of fiances and boyfriends in and out of your home.. she now has stability where there was none. She has made friends, she enjoys our family outings that she shares with you daily. We NEVER leave her with babysitters or other people for the sake of our convenience as she either has [Step Mother] and/or myself present at all occasions. She has adapted wonderfully to a routine that was modified specifically for her with the guidance of Dr. [home town therapist]. She enjoys play dates with friends, parties and other events. All in all, she is a happy well adjusted 8 year old with a stable and consistent family life.
Kindly respond to my simple, specific inquiries.
Again, I will re-direct you to my most specific inquires about this coming summer visitation.
[Custodial Dad]
Regards,
[The Ex] [last name]
From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Mon, June 28, 2010 3:42:37 PM
Subject: June Update: Requests for Responses
CERTIFIED MAIL RETURN RECEIPT
ELECTRONIC MAIL
[The Ex] [last name]
[street address in other state] [third state] Road
[town in other state], [other state] [zip]
Dear [The Ex]:
I am still awaiting a response to the many, many unanswered questions. I have attached the last two letters that went unanswered.
There are two pressing issues that need to be resolved ASAP:
1. I do NOT have an accurate social security number for [daughter]. I have asked repeatedly for a copy of her card for my records/ to update [insurance company] as they require a fax to update their records and the number so I may obtain a card for [daughter]. I was able to utilize the copy of the birth certificate that was in her [school] folder until the certified copy came in.
2. It has been brought to my attention through several verifiable sources that you do NOT reside at the [street in other state] home. Unless you provide me with an accurate and verifiable address, [daughter] will NOT be traveling to [other state] until this has been cleared up. I have given you ample notice and if you refuse to comply then I will have no choice other than to restrict your visitation with [daughter]. Further, we need to finalize the visitation schedule in regards to drop off, pick up and flight information which should have been finalized months ago per the order which specifies April 15. As this is the first of hopefully many vacations, I am allowing this to drag out however next year I will demand a formal and finalized plan by the date given.
As for [daughter]’s update:
A. School and Summer Camp:
1. She had a fantastic end of school and will be going to third grade at [home town] Intermediate Elementary along with her classmates. She has already toured the school and has met the principal and vice principal socially last summer. She is very excited to be going to the third grade. She starts school the last week in August and will be in uniform per the [home town] School District Requirements. [daughter] mentioned that you wanted to purchase some items for her. If that is the case, please visit this website: http://www.[newspaper in home state].com/assets/pdf/PR435515.PDF to confirm what is and is not acceptable.
2. Summer Camp: She had a fantastic week of summer camp and is already making friends. I believe she already knows several girls in her group from school and from her other siblings. She is doing an excellent job of communicating what is going on there and I think I will let her fill you in on the details of camp herself.
B. Medical/Dental: She has been very diligent with maintaining her palate extender and her speech is about 80 - 90% back to normal. She is a model patient for [orthodontist]. Her sessions with Dr. [home town therapist] are going well. We are all amazed at how wonderful her adjustment has been. He has reserved a session prior to her departure and upon her arrival home to ensure that progress is not lost during her vacation and time with you.
C. [daughter]’s Mailings: [daughter] has had several letters returned to us as address unknown or recipient unknown. I know that in my last message I requested an updated mailing address and also requested that you acknowledge her mailings to [daughter] directly. It is important for [daughter] to know that you are receiving the items she is sending to you. She is very gracious to say thank you to the sticker mailings and it would only be polite to return the favor to her. I am sure to give [daughter] her mailing’s that are returned so that she may hand deliver them to you directly.
D. Communication: [daughter] is still asking to [webcam software] with you. I have offered a multitude of times and find it hard to imagine that you do not want face to face interaction with [daughter]. I am again, throwing that out there in case you have somehow changed your mind. To remind you, there are several web cafes in the [town in other state] area that able to allow you a chance to [webcam software] with [daughter] for low cost, if you no longer have access to a computer.
Again, you really need to comply and respond to my requests for information. You are barely acknowledging anything being said to you however, [daughter] mentions you are directly mentioning certain things to her that should be directed through me. I am attempting to co-parent with you, despite the order, however you are making this beyond difficult. Please take a few moments to respond to the messages, letters and text messages sent to you.
Take good care;
[Custodial Dad] [last name]
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]
[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]
[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
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