[daughter]’s Return to [home state] for August

[The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

Fri, Jul 31, 2009 at 1:52 AM

To: [Custodial dad email]@[email].com, [Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com

Greetings, Momma [spelled incorrectly Step Mother] and Dad.

Thanks for taking the time to speak with me in the past week to make these arrangements.  [daughter] looks forward to your time together:) 

I am glad to see that we can make the kids happy.

[spelled incorrectly Step Mother], I will see you whenever you can get here around noon.  I think you will enjoy the practicality of the clubhouse, etc. after such a long ride with the kids.  Thanks for considering.

Thanks to both of you for doing pick-up and drop-off.

My Mom will be here for [daughter]’s return.  By noon on August 12th is fine...or ten AM may be on the paperwork. 

We can talk on the 11th and see what is going ot work for drop-off time around late AM to noon.

Address:

[third state address] Street

[town in third state], [THIRD STATE] [zip]

(Within gated community of [community] of [town in third state] off of Rt XXX)

We will call you into the gate.

Must show ID to guards.

Make left immediately after entry... think it is [street in third state]t. 

Welcome to call my phone when you are close or in development.

Pull up at end in front of clubhouse where you see tennis courts.   Or, you can park- as you see fit.

[daughter] and I will be happy to stand outside and help unload the little ones. :)

We will be inside awaiting your arrival at pool ajoining clubhouse- external entry is left gate by courts.   

Welcome to stay as long as your schedule allows.

Warmest Regards,

[The Ex] [last name]

[XXX]. [xxx]. 4244

[The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

Mon, Aug 10, 2009 at 11:45 AM

To: The [last name] [last name]s <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>

Hi [Step Mother],

I will be there to be with [daughter] this afternoon circa 3-4PM. 

As we agreeded yesterday, i would like to take her out for ice-cream and bring her back to you for her stay.

I offered that my moher come to YOUR hone to get her last night at seven PM.

There was no expectation that you would have to drop off. 

 [daughter] misses her mother.  She loves all her parents.  I think it is considerate and sensitive to her to share her with me as I will be in Strudsburg today.

I appreciateind consideraton.

Kindly

[The Ex] [last name]

From: The [last name] [last name]s <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>

To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

Cc: [Custodial dad email]@[email].com

Sent: Monday, August 10, 2009 12:26:15 AM

Subject: Re: [daughter]’s Return to [home state] for August

Hi [The Ex]:

I sat down with both [daughter] and [Custodial Dad] and I also had time to think.  I wanted to address this evenings fiasco.

I think where [Custodial Dad]and myself became frustrated is because you had [daughter] go to her room to secretly tell her to pack her things because her Grandmother was coming for her this evening.  That is wrong on many levels.  Despite the past history and orders, you are no longer [daughter]’s sole guardian.  You and [Custodial Dad] are BOTH parents to [daughter].  A child should never be in the midst of adults attempting to hash out a situation.  Your attempt to alter the schedule should have been discussed between you and [Custodial Dad] prior to involving [daughter].  In addition, there needed to be a discussion minus threats and accusations without demands.  

I think it was unreasonable to demand we deliver [daughter] to her Grandmother practically immediately.

All children, including [daughter] need transition.  What you did was not only unfair but cruel to [daughter].  I am sure that wasn’t your intention but [daughter] was hurt by your actions.  She and I had a long talk about the evening and she felt like she had to choose between her Grandmother and her father.  I think if broached with ample time and true discussion, this decision could have been worked out to everyone’s satisfaction without involving [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] and [Ex’s second other state lawyer], yet again.

As I stated to you, your mother has had the privilege of being in [daughter]’s life for the five years you made [daughter] ‘unavailable’ to [Custodial Dad] and her family.  That being here nor there, you requested she spend additional time here for whatever your motivation was.  We agreed to the time table you provided and we altered work schedule, appointments and our lives to accommodate [daughter] despite the ever changing and evolving schedule.  Just to note, you changed the timing seven times between the 26th through the 31st.  I appreciate your mothers predicament however, you do not appreciate ours.

I think your attorney can best explain this to you... you should never put [daughter] in a position to decide where she wants to go or with whom.  Those decisions are best left up to the parents and in many custody orders, it is actually stated that parents are NOT to involve children in decision making process, especially a fragile 7 year old who is really torn right now.

I hope you have a safe flight if you are indeed flying up to give [daughter] a hug tomorrow.

[Step Mother]

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