[The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 at 1:46 AM
To: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
[Custodial Dad],
After you took [daughter] on March 3rd, in the next few days, both my parents recieved calls from you.
1.Your calls were about them contacting [daughter] through your phone lines.
2. Clearly you have their phone numbers since you called them.
3. You gave them your numbers which you stated they could use to reach [daughter].
4. [daughter]’s Granny spoke to her -in a recorded call- only on Saturday, 3/13/10, for the first time,
though she called wanting to speak to her grandchild before that date.
5. Call times were reasonable. As two working professionals, I know the [last name] grandparents were respectful.
6. When they called, you did not make [daughter] available. You do not pick up. You phones go to voicemail.
7. Your wife reprimanded both grandparents and threatened to block [daughter]’s Granny’s phone number.
Please let me know your plans ..._______________
A. What are you doing to promote and continue [daughter]’s contact with Granny and Grand-dad [last name], my parents?
B. What reasons have you given them for the gross disruption in the daily in-person contact with Grand-dad? What do tell [daughter]?
C. What reasons have you given them for the gross disruption in [daughter]’s 3-4 times, weekly phone contact with Granny? What do you tell [daughter]?
D. They called to talk to their grand-child.
E. How will you address consistency and meaningful contact for [daughter] and her maternal grandparents?
F. How do you view their importance in her life?
G. They love her and have been active in her life daily, with vistis, with calls.
H. They would love a call schedule to talk with [daughter].
I. Will you call them and set it up?
Kindly reply so we can know how we need to adjust to your parenting decisions.
Thank you.
[The Ex]
From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Wed, March 10, 2010 7:02:41 PM
Subject: Re: [daughter]’s items & health insurance & emergency number
[The Ex];
Let this serve as a reply to all of your messages.
Let’s not mince words:
Psychologist
As you are well aware, the calls are recorded and for your information, I will be sharing them, in their entirety, with her psychologist, Dr. [home town therapist]. I believe that will paint a more accurate picture as evidenced by your reply here.
Dr. [home town therapist] will decide whether or not your input is warranted but thus far, he appears to have a good picture of the situation. He has a copy of the order and will of course provide you with information but doubts your input will be necessary, however he reserves the right to change his mind.
Contact
I received fourteen (14) separate calls from you and your parents last night. This is unacceptable and inexcusable. [Step Mother] informed the both of your parents that if they abuse our telephone line by calling repeatedly, we will no longer allow direct contact and will forward their calls to voicemail thus only allowing [daughter] to return calls. Be mindful, we have children that are in bed or preparing for bed and the calls are disruptive and nothing short of obscene.
As for a contact schedule, I have asked repeatedly to schedule a long conversation on Sunday. There is just not enough time in the day to devote to an hour conversation every day. As I stated previously, she is preparing for bed beginning at 7:30PM and barring an activity, 7PM is an ideal time. Why don’t you give [daughter] the phone numbers and she can contact whomever she sees fit, at her convenience?
Cell Phone
The cell phone I sent to [daughter] was not yours to donate. Please send me her telephone back or she will not be given a new one, period. I have asked for over a year for you to return the cell phone, please do so immediately. If you donated it or lost it, please say so as I will report it lost to our cell phone company.
[daughter]’s Requests
It has been a week, I do hope that you intend to send some of [daughter]’s personal items soon. She has requested at least Beary Bear four times that I am aware of. I know that she asked me and I forwarded her request to you several times personally. I will be sure to give [daughter] any items that you or her other relatives and friends send. [daughter] has sent two letters to your [other state address] Address, please acknowledge receipt of her letters so that we can confirm we are using the proper address. [daughter], did not request the pictures, I did. I want her to know how much I value and respect her love for you by allowing her to display pictures of you in her room.
Insurance
You have [daughter]’s insurance card as it was received by you and notice was signed last summer. As per the order, you are not permitted to take [daughter] to A[other state] doctor barring an emergency, even when she is in your care.
Additional Contact Information
You have all of the contact information that you require. To be honest, I can not trust that you will not abuse any additional contact information that your receive, please continue to use ([XXX]) [XXX] - 6052 as this number rings all of my phone lines at once. I do not believe having your school information will be necessary, but thank you.
[Custodial Dad]
On Mar 10, 2010, at 6:31 PM, [The Ex] [last name] wrote:
[Custodial Dad]:
[daughter] has only asked me daily about when she is coming home.
She has not asked me to send her things.
I will find out what she wants and send those and her birthday presents.
Please send [daughter]’s health insurance information for my files for summer. Aslo, so I may take out medical/dental/ psych coverage to compliment your policy, as may be needed.
Emergency number
Please send me an emergengy number at which I can reach you at work.
You can call my cell phone anytime and when I am on hosiptal rotations, [The Ex’s school] College, Nursing Department- ask for Sandi at [XXX] [xxx]9[XXX]- and they will be able to find me through my instructor immediately. We resume school on Monday of next week.
Thank you.
[The Ex]
To: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
Cc: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[The Ex’s school].edu>
Sent: Tue, March 9, 2010 1:09:39 PM
Subject: Re: [daughter] Update
Also - [daughter] has asked you several times as have I... she would like some of her belongings here and we all would be very grateful if you can mail them, especially [daughter]. We also need her cell phone back so that she may get a new phone.
We are still decorating her room (final touches, etc) and if you want to send some pictures of you and/or you and [daughter] so that we can frame them and put them up, I’m sure [daughter] would like that as well. Feel free to include pictures of her grandparents, [The Ex’s Current Husband], her pig etc... [The Ex’s Current Husband] is more than welcomed to call [daughter] as well. He was an important figure in her life and he, of course, is still her Step Father regardless of where [daughter] is.
x
On Mar 9, 2010, at 11:56 AM, [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] wrote:
> [The Ex];
>
> You are not replying or acknowledging my emails and I will just assume that you are reading them.
>
> [daughter] is attending [school] Elementary and her teacher is Mrs. [teacher]. [school] was not accepting late registrants although we appealed to Dr. [teacher], the [home town] Superintendent, she could not attend [school]. Her Guidance Counselor is Mrs. [guidence counselor]. You are more than welcomed to call them.
>
> She is doing very well. She has already made friends at school, she loves her new teacher and she is just shinning. I am very proud of the adjustment she is making thus far but we have an appointment with a therapist this evening.
>
> She is telling the school that you are picking her up, I think you need to confirm that you will not be doing so, at least not until the summer. Its not really appropriate that you tell her these things because its simply not going to occur. I think its better to address the situation as it is instead of giving her false hopes. The guidance counselor agrees with this statement, please try to respect that.
>
> I overheard [daughter] shouting last night about her door. She was upstairs in her room but was very loud as we all heard her. She has a door, she changes in the bathroom or with her door shut. She has privacy and knows how to make herself comfortable. I am saying this, although I have no real reason to explain it to you but so that no more false accusations are thrown by you.
>
> I think for now we need to limit the conversations a little bit, in time NOT in frequency. [daughter] just seems very upset with the conversations. I’ll address this more with the psychologist tonight and will relay his findings. If he feels it is appropriate, I will of course include you in on the sessions, if you want to be included. For now, a short call every night and a long [webcam software] or Sunday call to [daughter]’s wishes would be better.
>
> FYI: Bedtime is at 8PM. [daughter] typically showers at 7:30PM and so please try to call around 7PM, like I stated previously so she adjusts to the schedule appropriately. I am in no way, playing the ridiculous games that you did. I see the importance in [daughter] maintaining a relationship with you and your family. I’m contacting grandparents to let them all know [daughter]’s contact information. Please forward the information to [daughter]’s Aunt and Uncle as well.
>
> Thank You;
> [Custodial Dad] [last name]
>
> [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]
> [Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
>
>
>
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
Mon, Mar 22, 2010 at 8:44 AM
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
[The Ex];
When you removed [daughter] from [HOME STATE
To be clear, your mother and your sister [The Ex's Sister], contacted me on your behest. Your father, I contacted off of the [school] Academy contact card as well as the [last name]s. I contacted your parents and her step grandparents to involve them however, your mother was not respectful was calling at hours that were neither appropriate nor acceptable and between the two of them, they called my home 14 (FOURTEEN) times in the course of 15 minutes. [The Ex's Sister], telephoned twice and I believe both times were fairly uneventful.
Your mother and father refused to stop setting up visitation with [daughter] after I requested they do so through you. Your mother refused to stop calling repeatedly, when [Step Mother] advised them we had children and they were disrupting their bedtime, she started yelling at her telling [Step Mother] to stop calling her names, which simply did not occur as I was present on [Step Mother]’s side of the conversation. The next night there was a similar incidence however that instance involved your mother screaming over the telephone saying “oh my god” over and over again. I have no patience for dramatics and no room for disrespect. Please advise them that they are NOT to tell [daughter] that they are coming to my home for whatever reason; please advise them of the time frames that are acceptable. I tried and both times, their behavior did not change and if anything escalated to verbal abuse of both me and my wife.
I was unaware of any schedule that [daughter] had with her grandparents and from the sounds of things, [daughter] resided with your father a good majority of the time. [daughter] is fully aware that she may call them at anytime however, 3 - 4 times a week is excessive. As her father, you would never allow me a chance to speak to [daughter] even once a week so I am hard pressed to believe a routine like that existed. More likely is the case that it is your want of control over the situation.
Yes, your parents calls go straight to voicemail, when we get them if it is within the appropriate time frame, I ask [daughter] is she would like to call them back and the one time that your mother did call, she said no. [daughter] asked to email your father instead and they, I believe, have exchanged emails through [daughter]’s address ([email]h@[email].com)
[daughter] and I will work out an acceptable arrangements with calling her grandparents. I will discuss this further with her and Dr. [home town therapist] on Tuesday.
[Custodial Dad]
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