Medical Card for [daughter], please.

[The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

Fri, Jul 2, 2010 at 6:26 PM

To: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>

[Custodial Dad],

Please send [daughter]’s medical card(s) for her stay with me this summer.

Please send to:

[other state address] Heights Blvd West, [town in other state], [other  state] [zip]

Thanks.

[The Ex] [last name]

From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>

To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

Sent: Mon, June 28, 2010 3:42:37 PM

Subject: June Update: Requests for Responses

CERTIFIED MAIL RETURN RECEIPT

ELECTRONIC MAIL

[The Ex] [last name]

[street address in other state] [third state] Road

[town in other state], [other  state] [zip]

Dear [The Ex]:

I am still awaiting a response to the many, many unanswered questions.  I have attached the last two letters that went unanswered.

There are two pressing issues that need to be resolved ASAP:

1. I do NOT have an accurate social security number for [daughter].  I have asked repeatedly for a copy of her card for my records/ to update [insurance company] as they require a fax to update their records and the number so I may obtain a card for [daughter].  I was able to utilize the copy of the birth certificate that was in her [school] folder until the certified copy came in.

2. It has been brought to my attention through several verifiable sources that you do NOT reside at the [street in other state] home.  Unless you provide me with an accurate and verifiable address, [daughter] will NOT be traveling to [other state] until this has been cleared up.  I have given you ample notice and if you refuse to comply then I will have no choice other than to restrict your visitation with [daughter].  Further, we need to finalize the visitation schedule in regards to drop off, pick up and flight information which should have been finalized months ago per the order which specifies April 15.  As this is the first of hopefully many vacations, I am allowing this to drag out however next year I will demand a formal and finalized plan by the date given.

As for [daughter]’s update:

A. School and Summer Camp:  

1. She had a fantastic end of school and will be going to third grade at [home town] Intermediate Elementary along with her classmates.  She has already toured the school and has met the principal and vice principal socially last summer.  She is very excited to be going to the third grade.  She starts school the last week in August and will be in uniform per the [home town] School District Requirements.  [daughter] mentioned that you wanted to purchase some items for her.  If that is the case, please visit this website:  http://www.[newspaper in home state].com/assets/pdf/PR435515.PDF to confirm what is and is not acceptable.  

2. Summer Camp: She had a fantastic week of summer camp and is already making friends.  I believe she already knows several girls in her group from school and from her other siblings.  She is doing an excellent job of communicating what is going on there and I think I will let her fill you in on the details of camp herself.

B. Medical/Dental:  She has been very diligent with maintaining her palate extender and her speech is about 80 - 90% back to normal.  She is a model patient for [orthodontist].  Her sessions with Dr. [home town therapist] are going well.  We are all amazed at how wonderful her adjustment has been.  He has reserved a session prior to her departure and upon her arrival home to ensure that progress is not lost during her vacation and time with you.

C. [daughter]’s Mailings: [daughter] has had several letters returned to us as address unknown or recipient unknown.  I know that in my last message I requested an updated mailing address and also requested that you acknowledge her mailings to [daughter] directly.  It is important for [daughter] to know that you are receiving the items she is sending to you.  She is very gracious to say thank you to the sticker mailings and it would only be polite to return the favor to her.  I am sure to give [daughter] her mailing’s that are returned so that she may hand deliver them to you directly.

D. Communication: [daughter] is still asking to [webcam software] with you.  I have offered a multitude of times and find it hard to imagine that you do not want face to face interaction with [daughter].  I am again, throwing that out there in case you have somehow changed your mind.  To remind you, there are several web cafes in the [town in other state] area that able to allow you a chance to [webcam software] with [daughter] for low cost, if you no longer have access to a computer.

Again, you really need to comply and respond to my requests for information.  You are barely acknowledging anything being said to you however, [daughter] mentions you are directly mentioning certain things to her that should be directed through me.  I am attempting to co-parent with you, despite the order, however you are making this beyond difficult.  Please take a few moments to respond to the messages, letters and text messages sent to you.

Take good care;

[Custodial Dad] [last name]

[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]

[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com

[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>

Fri, Jul 2, 2010 at 7:19 PM

To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

[The Ex]:

No, I will not send her medical card.  In the event of an emergency, please take her to the nearest facility and have them send a bill.  I will forward it to my insurance carrier.

According to the order, you may NOT take [daughter] to any provider except in an emergency.

Thanks again;

[Custodial Dad] 

[Quoted text hidden]

[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>

Fri, Jul 2, 2010 at 7:47 PM

To: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>

Cc: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

Actually I should say, no I will not send you ANOTHER medical card for [daughter].

I would also suggest you re-read the multitude of emails and letters sent addressing these very issues that we keep addressing over and over again.

[Custodial Dad]

[Quoted text hidden]

[other  state]urry of Emails

1 message

[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>

Fri, Jul 2, 2010 at 9:50 PM

To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

[The Ex]:

I wanted to direct your attention to the fact that the only communication stemming from you is in direct correlation to court appearances and/or communication from your attorney.  I sent three certified letters over the last three months that went ignore and unaddressed until there was a scheduling for mediation and now you are addressing parts of my concerns while ignoring other aspects of it.  Previously, I sent you many, many emails that went unanswered until your attorney filed the motion for clarification.

I went through and addressed/re-addressed every issue you raised despite the obvious redundancy in the latest emails.  I have been attempting to communicate with you since [daughter] moved here however, you are just ignoring my attempts and acting confrontational for some imagined audience.  I will continue my mailings, as evidenced by your responses, it may serve you well to actually read them and/or contact the providers that I have spelled out for you.

I will also remind you that we have had [daughter] for merely four MONTHS.  I am and have updated you on all providers, her activities and what she is doing on a daily basis.  [daughter], herself, is able to provide you with the details of her life without “secrets” and censorship, unlike the conversations that I had with my daughter the past two years that you allowed  contact and the two months prior to the order which you did not even allow [daughter] to leave a voicemail.  I am following the order as it is because I think I, too, deserve time with my daughter as we are still catching up on the five years that you ensured I knew nothing about her.  In my opinion, the order is more generous than the proposal you submitted.  I am curious as to understand where you find it more important that [daughter] spend time with you over time with me?

I am trying to create a life for [daughter] where she has access to both parents and the knowledge that we BOTH love her.  I believe that was the intention of the order, to allow [daughter] a chance at a life with her family without your undue influence to be built upon as [daughter] grows, learns and understands.  I have no intention of restricting your contact, no intention of withholding out daughter from you but we need to work on building a healthy relationship between you and [daughter].  It is very clear that you filled [daughter]’s head with many, many things about me and my life that were completely false—we will not need to look further than your false allegations to the courts over the years.  Also her statements to me, her siblings, [Step Mother] and Dr. [home town therapist] about the things you have stated to her are enough to have me worried.  Whether your statements were malicious or delusional, we may never know but the seeds have been planted with [daughter].  I truly hope that you have changed, sought help or even just accept the situation that [daughter] lives with me- only time may telX

In the interim, lets at least allow [daughter] a chance to adjust to life here, give her a chance to establish a relationship with you in this new role and build upon a better laid foundation.  I have welcomed, invited and urged you to contact Dr. [home town therapist] as I believe he is the correct professional to guide us in the right direction.  He is educated and familiar with situations such as ours and he has steered us very well in the past - I mean [daughter] has become so well adjusted here, its like she was here her whole life!  I want to make this new life easier on [daughter].  She absolutely deserves this since it is her life and this is no longer a transition.  I’m not giving you lip service but attempting to fix the pitfalls you are directly aiming us at.  You suggested a therapist that would be willing to guide us.  I suggested Dr. [home town therapist] and I would like to work towards a goal at establishing adequate communication in the new established roles.  What are your thoughts on outside help assisting us?

Lastly, your inquires about [daughter]’s siblings are not only making me uncomfortable but [daughter] as well.  I do not want to interfere with your contact with [daughter] but direct questions on the schedule and lives of her siblings is beyond inappropriate.  Please, please refrain from asking [daughter] about her siblings beyond “How are they?”  Like I stated, I would like to work our issues out between us, so lets start with this.  I would hate to have to escalate this further but your questions leave me uneasy and I am sure that is not your intent but I will take whatever steps necessary to rectify the situation.

Thanks;

[Custodial Dad]

[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]

[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com