Parenting Communication emails.

[The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Fri, Aug 1, 2008 at 4:28 PM
To: [Custodial dad email]@[email].com, [Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com

Hi, [Custodial Dad].
I will be happy to email you with updates on [daughter].
[The Ex]
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
To: [Custodial Dad] [las

Parenting Communication emails.t name] <[Custodial dad email]@[email].com>
Cc: [Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
Sent: Wednesday, July 30, 2008 6:51:25 PM
Subject: [The Ex] [last name]’s Final request for Parenting IM Communication.
Hi, [Custodial Dad].

This is my final request for you to reconsider the 4-5:45AM window.

I have a very strict schedule dictated by single-parenting/ guiding [daughter]’s development, enrichment, care and my school responsibilities.

I am doing my best to set a schedule with you which will not change for a year

as to ensure consistent parenting contact between us.

I respect your request of a co-parenting option.

Please, reconsider.  Wake up 20 minutes earlier one day in the week, please.

Email is not IM.  Weekly inquiries can be immediately responses on IM,
as it is instant message option, by definition. 

It is efficient and well utilized by many in our situation.

Thank you for your consideration.
Kindly,
[The Ex]

----- Original Message ----
From: [Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial dad email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Wednesday, July 30, 2008 3:53:58 PM
Subject: Re: [Custodial Dad] [last name]’s response to [The Ex] [last name]’s Re-stated responses to satisfy [Custodial Dad] [last name]’s questions as he requires to authorize LCSW’s work with [daughter]
[The Ex];

Suffice to say that at this juncture, I am completely UNAVAILABLE.  I am uncomfortable givin you the intimate details of my schedule.  I wish for you to reconsider your own schedule at this time.  I have evening hours available that we can accomplish your requested IM session after [daughter] is in bed or my best suggestion; simply email me an update. Looking at today’s back and forth, I could have been updated three times over.  Since you will include what it is you wish for me to know regardless of any of my requests e-mailing information should be fairly easy to accomplish.

Your understanding is incorrect—I will NOT agree to Ms. [therapist in other state] supervising communications between [daughter] and I. However, I WILL agree to assist and facilitate [daughter] in meeting with Ms. [therapist in other state] in a therapeutic context.  However, you are correct in your understandings that supervision is YOUR request and nothing ordered nor condoned by any court of law.


You have AGAIN failed to answer any of my questions, feel free to address my questions here:

A. Are you presently supervising phone contact??
B. Is your position, that this therapy session will encourage you to drop YOUR required supervision going forward?  (Based on Ms. [therapist in other state]’s recommendations of course.)
C. What are YOUR current reasons behind such supervision when not expressly agreed upon by anyone but yourself?
D. Where are you lacking in encouraging [daughter] to call (and be polite) when speaking with me directly?


[Custodial Dad]
On Wed, Jul 30, 2008 at 3:14 PM, [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com> wrote:
Hi, [Custodial Dad].

RE: Parenting IM Communication:

It beg of you to reconsider waking up 20 minutes earlier once a week to IM with me.
I am up at 4AM every day.  I can be available until 5:30AM to IM. 

Please, commit to one day, 20 minutes of IM time.  Less if you want....  more if you want in that window.

It is the only time we both seem to have...
Are you at work at that time?  Are you unable to access IM at that time?
Please, let me know.

RE: Ms. [therapist in other state]’s assistance

The sessions are intended to move us all through this transition which you have requested.

[daughter] and I regularly talk about her siblings and the fact that she has a big brother and two little siblings. 
She embraces the idea of [Step Mother] as their Mom and her Step-Mom and you as her Dad. 
She says that she liked everyone when she met them all. 
No issue is apparent to me of [daughter]’s need for therapy to integrate her understanding of her whole family into her life. 
Many children in her class have blended families. 
It is typical and they discuss it openly- warmly, with each other and in discussion groups in class with peers. 
I encourage her to look for outfits and make little gifts for her [last name] kin.

Given this perspective, to clarify:

I am understanding that you will not authorize Ms. [therapist in other state] to help [daughter] and us all at this time in the capacity to which I have communicated to you.

I understand that you do not acknowledge supervision as neither legally viable nor necessary.

Is my understanding correct, [Custodial Dad]? 

I would like you to verify so I can know what other options to present to you so I may be effective in my efforts to facilitate continuing contact between you and [daughter]. 

We will continue to call as she requests and agrees to the phone/ web sessions. 

Please be prepared for impromptu calls from [daughter].   She understands that you may have to call back or may only be able to talk briefly at times. she has communicated that she is OK with those possibilities.

I wish for the best for your Father-Daughter (DaDa- Baby Girl : ) relationship. 

I continue to reinforce that you love her and that you want to be a part of her life.

I will continue to do my part to keep [daughter] secure in that she is much loved.

Thanks for your cooperation.
Kindly,
[The Ex] [last name]
July 30th, 2008
----- Original Message ----
From: [Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial dad email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Wednesday, July 30, 2008 2:22:29 PM
Subject: Re: [The Ex] [last name]’s Re-stated responses to satisfy [Custodial Dad] [last name]’s questions as he requires to authorize LCSW’s work with [daughter]
[The Ex];
I will respond here again, but for the record [The Ex], it seems to me that you do NOT read any e-mail I have initiated to you and you must only glance at my responses to your e-mails.
To be clear, AGAIN, I am not available during the daytime, including your early morning window.  Period.  I can not be more clear that there is NO time during the day including morning hours to achieve the IM session that you require.  I think the fact that I stated I was NOT available should have been indicative enough that I am simply UNAVAILABLE except for evening hours (with the exclusion of Thursdays where I am completely unavailable.).  Since I am not yet involved in [daughter]’s life, it is a one-sided update and can be achieved through email, postal mail or the website in which my attorney suggested to yours.  I  have requested a basic material update of [daughter] fairly consistently since 2004 and recently through your attorney,  that you have failed to acknowledge and provide.  This of course has nothing to do with the current questions regarding a therapy session with Ms. [therapist in other state].
I am 100% in support of having a neutral third party intervene where it is obvious you are failing at encouraging the most basic of contact between [daughter] and I.  I am interested in the assessment of [daughter], as I have no idea where emotionally or developmentally our daughter is presently at due to your (non court ordered) present  restrictions.
Let’s be clear, the imposition of phone supervision is YOUR request, not ordered nor condoned by any court of law which is why you will not find a therapist to intervene without my express consent...   The imposition of supervised contact is something that I was “encouraged” to sign based on YOUR attorney and not based on any standard of procedure as I was lead to believe.  The ONLY reason I agreed to supervised contact with [daughter] this past February was due to the fact that it was THREE YEARS in passing in which I saw her last.  In no way am I agreeing to such stipulations going forward with the knowledge that supervised contact between [daughter] and I will soon be a thing of the past.  At this juncture, I am willing to wait and will not subject any of us to such a visit again.  Again, like I stated to Ms. [therapist in other state]: I will NOT agree to supervised contact with [daughter]...  I will agree to assist [daughter] in getting help in transitioning her home life to include myself and her siblings.
To understand your position, you will no longer encourage nor mandate contact with [daughter] unless I agree to restricted access to [daughter]? (sign away my parental rights??!!?)
Going forward, is determined on how you wish to precede. So again, my questions that remain unanswered are:
A. Are you presently supervising phone contact??
B. Is your position, that this therapy session will encourage you to drop YOUR required supervision going forward?  (Based on Ms. [therapist in other state]’s recommendations of course.)
C. What are YOUR current reasons behind such supervision when not expressly agreed upon by anyone but yourself?
D. Where are you lacking in encouraging [daughter] to call (and be polite) when speaking with me directly?
As I have stated you (as has [Step Mother]) in that we are in your shoes with her son yet we are able to encourage contact as his parents.  I would understand if this reluctance was based on the fact that I have only seen her once in four years, but in all of my current dealings with [daughter] contact has been nothing but pleasant.  This apparent change is drastic and sudden and concurrent with the webcam re-scheduling that began July 4th Week.
While you have made certain assertions, my questions have yet to be answered.  I can not be more clear and it seems as though something is getting lost in translation.
[Custodial Dad] 


--
[Custodial Dad] X [last name]
[XXX]-[xxx]-0185
[Custodial dad email]@[email].com
~ Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
- Tom Stoppard ~


[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
Fri, Aug 1, 2008 at 4:40 PM
To: [Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial dad email]@[email].com>
Cc: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>

Thank you for understanding about the scheduling difficulties.  Please send the updates at your earliest convenience as we have four years to catch up on.
I would assume that [daughter] will not being seeing Ms. [therapist in other state] or should I expect your response to the questions posted in the email you included?
Posted here for convenience:

A. Are you presently supervising phone contact??
B. Is your position, that this therapy session will encourage you to drop YOUR required supervision going forward?  (Based on Ms. [therapist in other state]’s recommendations of course.)
C. What are YOUR current reasons behind such supervision when not expressly agreed upon by anyone but yourself?
D. Where are you lacking in encouraging [daughter] to call (and be polite) when speaking with me directly?
Again, I will be happy to assist [daughter] in speaking to a counselor for therapeutic reasonings and will be happy to submit my autho