[The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Wed, Aug 18, 2010 at 3:06 PM
To: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
Cc: [Custodial dad email]@[email].com
[Custodial Dad]:
You have a very significant responsibility to [daughter] X to provide access to her friends and family, including me.
Granny wants to have her from Friday next week through sunday evening. she is planning events wth [daughter] as [daughter] stated her desire to have time with Granny, which you ignored and refused for five months since you have had [daughter].
Granny also wants at least two weekends, and extended weekends when available with school schedule to see [daughter] and take her to Aunt [The Ex's Sister] dn her cousin, [daughter’s cousin].
What is your schedule offerto share [daughter]’s time with her Granny?
Grand-dad wants to have time with [daughter] on his visits to [home state] when he goes on business.
He will be up there on the last weekend of August and in early September, to extend to the first weekend in September.
What is your schedule offer to share [daughter]’s time with her Grand-Dad?
Aunt [The Ex's Sister] wants to get [daughter] for weekend, at least once before October.
Waht is your time offer to share [daughter]’s time with her Aunt and her cousin?
[other state friend] and [other state friend] want to be able to call [daughter] on the phone.
What is the phone call offer to share [daughter]’s time with [other state friend] and [other state friend], daily playments?
[friends in other state] wants to be able to call [daughter] on the phone.
What is the phone call offer to share [daughter]’s time with [friends in other state], friend since Age 5?
[friends in other state] wants to be able to call [daughter] on the phone.
What is the phone call offer to share [daughter]’s time with [friends in other state], friend since Age 4?
Gabby wants to be able to call [daughter] on the phone.
What is the phone call offer to share [daughter]’s time with her close clasemate, Gabby?
Aunt [The Ex's Sister], granny, and Grand-Dad want to be able to call [daughter] on the phone.
What is the phone call offer to share [daughter]’s time with her Mom’s family?
Additionally, many friends from [home town] have seen [daughter] and [daughter] has stated she was approached by kids and their parents for playdates since she arrived in your house BUT NO folow-up was made and you DID NOT take her to see anyone to play or go over their homes, though the Dad/Mom invited you. WHY? That is the biggest part of my time as a parent when it comes to socializing [daughter], as is appropriate for her age group.
In fact, it ssems that [daughter] is ONLYplaying with a 5 year old and an 11 year old INFREQUENTLY because the MOTHER IS [SPELLED INCORRECTLY STEP MOTHER]’s FRIEND? How is this possible?
I am supposed to get daily calls. I don’t get them. I am supposed to be able to call and reach [daughter]. I can’t reach her- or ANYONE, in fact.
It is normal for people to call each other. it is normal for children to be able to call their friends. Unless you write back and say that no one can call [daughter], I will give our her contact numbers through your phone lines so her friends can reach her.
You will be getting mail for [daughter] from her friends. Please make sure she gets it and enjoys her contact with her peer group in [other state] and [home town].
That seems like a good start to keep [daughter] connected!
Parents talked to me about trying to reach [daughter]. it was sad to hear how they and their children’s ONE call was treated by you. i also never understood why they could not call So i write thi to give you an opportunity to open communication for [daughter] and her friends, their parents, who she has spent her life with as family friends, and with her Mom’s family and - my goodness- let’s imrpove the illegal practices of failing to call Mom or allowing for enough time to talk with Mom. Especially, let’s see you put an end to CUTTING teh CALL OFF when the child is still sharing about her day.
Also, please have a comfortable space in her room prepared so she can talk to Mom. The noise level in the background is often extraordinary and cannot be condusive to [daughter] having a fair opporttunity to communicate.
I have no evidence that you intend to improve [daughter]’s visitation time, with anyone.
Please show me actions that show respect for this child’s contact with others.
God Bless.
[The Ex] [last name]
From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
Cc: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Thu, August 12, 2010 4:34:15 PM
Subject: Re: [daughter]’s left ankle and foort are still swollen from her reports last night
Spoke with [town in home state] Pediatricians:
It is not suggested we take [daughter] to urgent care or emergency room for her foot nor her sore throat.
For her foot:
Soak it in warm water, keep it elevated. Have her rest her foot.
If its itchy, you can apply a hydrocortisone cream for three days only. Do not apply it longer than three days.
Otherwise, you can give her benedryl per her weight. I just googled the dosage, feel free t do the same:
http://www.jaxpediatrics.com/forms/benadryXpdf
If it is not better in three days, we need to bring her in. By that time table, she will be home and I can take her straight to the pediatrician’s office as they keep Sunday hours.
As for her throat:
I mentioned my concerns that she had an abundance of sore throats last fall according to her records and that I personally witnessed [The Ex’s Current Husband] smoking and that [daughter] mentioned you smoked all circa that time. It was suggested to have all parties refrain from smoking near, around and in the presence of [daughter]. It was also suggested for the party to change their clothing and wash their hands after each cigarette to reduce the effects of second hand smoke.
Her throat could also be the result of allergies and the drastic change in climate from [home state] to [other state]. Or she simply could have a cold but being that it is so considerably mild, treatment doesn’t appear to be necessary. Rest and plenty of fluids was suggested. Warm liquids like tea, she mentioned I think her Grandmother or Grandfather making her rose tea that she likes, maybe they can make some for her. Also, if she is ill maybe not allowing her to stay out past 10 pm would be a good option. If her throat is uncomfortable, you can give her tylenol (http://www.jaxpediatrics.com/forms/TylenoXpdf) but I would prefer we not give her so many OTC medications at once.
Just to note, our pediatrician prefers we not bring our children in to see them at every sniffle. Studies have shown that going into the pediatricians office too often actually causes more harm than good in contracting virus and bacteria. We have never missed a visit that required a doctors care. And from my observations as a father, none of this warranted such an urgent response which was confirmed by the offices I spoke with today and yesterday. Thank you for keeping me informed but please - In the event of an emergency, because of the sudden abundance of texts and emails, call me directly.
[Step Mother] said that [daughter] sounded well and in good spirits. She didn’t sound as if she was in any discomfort and was quite ccheerful. Glad to hear that.
X
Sent from my iPhone
On Aug 12, 2010, at 2:42 PM, [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] wrote:
Did not refuse texts, refused to receive 45 texts that late at night. In the event of an emergency, please do not hesitate to call me directly.
Sent from my iPhone
On Aug 12, 2010, at 1:34 PM, [The Ex] [last name] wrote:
[Custodial Dad]:
You refused text on this topic, so I’m emailing you to notify you that [daughter]’s left ankle and foot are swollen, doen to her toes. [daughter] stated foot hurts. She is playing with paper flowers. She ate already today.
I did the warm compress and calamine lotion as you advised last evening. No improvement.
What do you want me to do now? Please let me know. I’d like her to be comfortable.
[The Ex]
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
Wed, Aug 18, 2010 at 9:12 PM
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
As stated to you previously - please provide me with the phone numbers for [daughter]’s friends and I will ensure she calls them at her wish. I am uncomfortable with having random people calling my home however, with notice and planning on my part, I am sure it is possible. Also, please provide them with [daughter]’s email and/or [webcam software] address and she will be happy to return the email. Feel free to give me the contact information and I will be happy to arrange contact for [daughter] and her friends.
[daughter], is of course, to allowed to have play dates with families that either my wife and I meet or that we know, which of course is similar to the arrangements I am sure you had while [daughter] was in [other state]. I don’t think any responsible parent would allow their child to go with just anyone.
[daughter] has had more than one play date and definitely with more than with her 11 and 5 year old friends. And while the mother is [Step Mother]’s friend, your daughter called [friends in home state] her “best friend.” She has attended multiple parties, play dates and events from classmates to family to friends of [Step Mother]’s to friends of her siblings to friends of mine to friends of the family etc. We do a considerable a lot together as a family for bonding time however, we have a wide circle of friends and family included in social time for [daughter] until she is able to establish friendships on her own.
[daughter] is scheduled to call her grandparents and aunt once a month however, she may call and email them at her whim as I have stated to you
As I have asked you to do so, I spoke with Dr. [home town therapist] at length about the contact being every day which he has agreed to. The schedule will be every day phone call and every Sunday [webcam software] at 7 pm. An hour phone call is not always possible with activities, schedules and events. The end time, unless we start excessively late, is 8 pm as it gives her 30 minutes of age appropriate TV, time to shower and the read in bed. I will remind you also, the order dictates calls prior to 8 pm.
I will also direct you to the email dated July 27th when I stated that I would correct [daughter]’s behavior and you stated it was “unnecessary” and there was no need for a “summit.” Here is your direct quote:
Please, Dad. No need for a Summit
I will be happy to correct [daughter], if that is your wish currently but children are not allowed to have telephones in the bedrooms, she has other options as she is well aware and I believe utilized this evening.
I will also ask again that you refrain from texting and calling past 8 pm as you have done so every night this week.
[Custodial Dad] [last name] and [Step Mother] [last name] - [last name]
[sibling] • [daughter] • [sibling] • [sibling] • [sibling] • [sibling]
[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
([XXX]) [XXX] - 6052
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