[The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 1:06 PM
To: [Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
What is your answer, Dad?
Please write me. I’m begging you, please. It does save so much money if you would just email me your answer back in a reply. Please, Dad. Please.
Here is my response to one of the messages you keep sending to my account today-
Sadly, this seems null an void asit does not meet the Minimum requirements of the court orderd time for [daughter]. But, surely I’m no expert.
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: [last name] & [last name]s <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Tue, July 27, 2010 11:01:59 AM
Subject: Fwd: Summer Confirmation + flight, rates, attached jet blue info
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
Date: Wed, Apr 14, 2010 at 9:07 PM
Subject: Re: Summer Confirmation + flight, rates, attached jet blue info
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>, [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[The Ex’s school].edu>
[The Ex];
I propose noon on Aug 1st until noon on Aug 15th. It is unreasonable to expect me to drive to [town in third state] (that late and that far for) and back for the exchange for both drop off and pick up.
We can meet at [city third state] Airport at noon on each given day, unless [daughter] is staying in [THIRD STATE
We can do the tickets one of two ways, you can purchase the ticket and I will refund you one half of the price after you forward me proof of purchase or I can purchase [daughter] a direct ticket home and you will be soley responsible for her flight to [town in other state]. She is old enough to fly unattended on a direct flight. I can get her a direct ticket from [town in other state] to [town in home state] Airport, which is the most convenient airport for us. If you wish to accompany her, that will be your expense soley.
As for extended vacation, we will take it as it comes. We need to play that one by ear as there are many, many uncertanties already in place for this vacation. For instance, let us establish that contact will be daily for [daughter] and I, without interference, schedules, dropped calls or other various excuses that you have employed from time to time. I will also expect to know the exact location and verifiable address of where [daughter] will be staying PRIOR to her travels to [other state]. I will not allow her to be anywhere that I do not have an accurate and true address for and the [other state address] address will not suffice.
[Custodial Dad]
On Apr 14, 2010, at 5:14 PM, [The Ex] [last name] wrote:
[Custodial Dad],
Got your message dated 4/13/2010.
The two weeks are confirmed- August 1st through 15th, 2010.
I would like another week- at least, so please let me know - tag a week on before or after this 8/1-8/15 time or do seperately.
(Ordered time is only a minimum. We can certainly extend from 15 day minimum.)
As I notified you,
I will take [daughter] from August 1st, or before- through August 15th, 2010- and can extend after.
As you were comfortable with last year,
you can bring her to my mother’s home on [street] in [community], [town in third state], [third state], as we did last summer.
Drop off: You are welcome to bring [daughter] on Saturday, July 31st at 6:00PM so she can wake up with us on her first day with “Momma.” We can do dinner and bath with [daughter] on this first night.
Pick-up: You can pick her up at 7:00 PM on Sunday, August 15th so we can share dinner, if that works for you.
She can be in PJs for bed on transfer to you.
Travel to [other state]: We will bring her down to [town in other state], [other state] on either July 31st or August 1st via airplane.
When we are booking the flight, we will all have full flight information and I will send it to you via email.
Travel to [THIRD STATE
We will have her available for pick-up on August 15th in [third state].
She will be with me/ my family in [third state] and in [other state] for her stay.
Transportation:
flight: Attached is potential flight information. We can estimate between $300-400,+/- $100, for round trip ticket for [daughter].
All times are suggestions and may be changed to work the best for all, reasonable to visit schedule of course.
Let me know.
I will continue to search fares and will book the best rate. Will send as soon as I book.
Kind Regards,
[The Ex] [XXX].[xxx]-5236
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
To: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>; [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
Cc: [the ex email]@[The Ex’s school].edu
Sent: Tue, April 13, 2010 3:56:23 PM
Subject: Fw: Call schedule, psych info, summer request
[Custodial Dad]:
I will take [daughter] on in August, as you have scheduled.
Th.anks.
[The Ex]
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
To: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
Sent: Wed, March 10, 2010 5:49:36 PM
Subject: Call schedule, psych info, summer request
[Custodial Dad];
I understand to call at 7pm.
I understand that you will update me on her psychology session.
I will be available to participate in her psych sessions as you inform me of session schedule.
I understand that I am invited to call her guidance counselor.
You have sent the medical and dental office information but I have yet to recieve the psychologist information.
Summer 2010: I will take [daughter] this summer for the scheduled time. Please send possible dates for 15day time sharing.
[daughter] misunderstood me. She is still just 7-8 years old. These changes are sudden and big for a child. I’m sure she is just trying to sort it all out.
Appreciate the contact and hope that your family is well.
God Bless.
[The Ex]
From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[The Ex’s school].edu>
Sent: Tue, March 9, 2010 11:56:34 AM
Subject: [daughter] Update
[The Ex];
You are not replying or acknowledging my emails and I will just assume that you are reading them.
[daughter] is attending [school] Elementary and her teacher is Mrs. [teacher]. [school] was not accepting late registrants although we appealed to Dr. [teacher], the [home town] Superintendent, she could not attend [school]. Her Guidance Counselor is Mrs. [guidence counselor]. You are more than welcomed to call them.
She is doing very well. She has already made friends at school, she loves her new teacher and she is just shinning. I am very proud of the adjustment she is making thus far but we have an appointment with a therapist this evening.
She is telling the school that you are picking her up, I think you need to confirm that you will not be doing so, at least not until the summer. Its not really appropriate that you tell her these things because its simply not going to occur. I think its better to address the situation as it is instead of giving her false hopes. The guidance counselor agrees with this statement, please try to respect that.
I overheard [daughter] shouting last night about her door. She was upstairs in her room but was very loud as we all heard her. She has a door, she changes in the bathroom or with her door shut. She has privacy and knows how to make herself comfortable. I am saying this, although I have no real reason to explain it to you but so that no more false accusations are thrown by you.
I think for now we need to limit the conversations a little bit, in time NOT in frequency. [daughter] just seems very upset with the conversations. I’ll address this more with the psychologist tonight and will relay his findings. If he feels it is appropriate, I will of course include you in on the sessions, if you want to be included. For now, a short call every night and a long [webcam software] or Sunday call to [daughter]’s wishes would be better.
FYI: Bedtime is at 8PM. [daughter] typically showers at 7:30PM and so please try to call around 7PM, like I stated previously so she adjusts to the schedule appropriately. I am in no way, playing the ridiculous games that you did. I see the importance in [daughter] maintaining a relationship with you and your family. I’m contacting grandparents to let them all know [daughter]’s contact information. Please forward the information to [daughter]’s Aunt and Uncle as well.
Thank You;
[Custodial Dad] [last name]
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]
[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
<[daughter] on Jet Blue for August 2010.jpg>
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]
[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
--
[Custodial Dad]..[Step Mother]..
[sibling]..[daughter]..[sibling]..[sibling]...[sibling]...[sibling]
From: [Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Tue, July 27, 2010 12:43:57 PM
Subject: Re: PLEASE Dad and Factual responses Re: Still Unaddressed through spcs issue Part 2 Fw: Various Concerns
[The Ex],
“Please respond immediately on the pick up arrangements for [daughter] for Staturday, July 31 at 3PM.
Thanks.
[The Ex]”
I did and have responded to this... my lawyer has my response ... since YOU involved the lawyers
[Custodial Dad]
On Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 12:38 PM, [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com> wrote:
[Custodial Dad],
Now, on the most IMPORTANT topic- again- what is your response to us getting [daughter] in [home town], [home state] at 3:00PM on July 31st, 2010. Will you give her to us voluntarily? Have you decided?
Please email me immediately to prevent attorney fees on this pick up arrangement. Please do not frustrate the process of getting [daughter] to her court required time share with Mom. Please, Dad. Please, I am begging you to please respond and let’s come to an agreement for [daughter]’s wonderful summer-time in [other state].
In response to your email below,
Here are the facts:
1. You continue to claim that [daughter] X, age 8, is a liar- even to her therapist- You state that she lies about glasses and “ghost” actions. Your statements are a very unfortunate indicator, Dad.
2. You are complicating the details of my daughter’s visit with claims of a incident report that you now want NO responsibility to produce. We will deal with that in slander and liable later.
3. You contradict yourself in a web of lies and thus can’t logically get out of it. In your failure, you “term” my clear, logical questions and responses to you as me writing in an “insane” and “unhinged” manner. The sum of this is: You CANNOT give one straight statement that is verifiable and true. You present that everyone ELSE is a LIAR unless they mirror the way YOU WANT things to be viewed. That is beyond concerning.
4. Your issue with both board ceritified doctors were wrought with lies and false accusations, as they disputed. Public records. No need to elaborate. Issue which may or may not be pending are also public record.
5. You lie again- as I sent photos of me and [daughter] and her friends and special items via email. Maybe you missed that- which was also communicated to [spelled incorrectly Step Mother] in her unsettling email. Again, attempting to “case make.’
5. Fact is you both lied and presented falsified evidence under oath. This is neither the time nor forum to address that. Please save your refute for your defense- which is surely NOT in my scope. Unfortunately for you, there are no ‘do overs.” There is just the reality of moving forward from here with all your paper trail behind you. It’s filed. We can’t change the past. Please, move forward.
6. You have now again blamed others for not getting [daughter]’s glasses replaced or a new prescription altogether WHEN SHE NO LONGER HAD THEM. Fact is YOU did NOT provide for [daughter]’s vision needs to accommodate school and learning AFTER you knew she did not have her glasses to use ANY LONGER. Nor did you seek my assistance. End of point. Though superfluous, the rest is interesting: Now you state the technician was “pressured”? Fact is you have no evidence of this- if you do provide it and I will take it up with Lens Crafters corporate. Send it, [Custodial Dad]. Send a report from your “contacts” - go ahead- show me the policy that allowed an inappropriate pair of glasses to be dispensed to a child.
7. Fact is you are writing me in the middle of the day. Working at ... what’s the name of that company...H.. oh, please send your employers name, [Custodial Dad], won’t you? You avoided that question last email and I expect you will avoid it again.
8. Fact is I have asked you to not make reference to your perceptions and assumptions of my dating experience and you continue to write “your boyfriend” in your message. Please be correct with your word use- “self-deprecating” comments would mean I am doing that to myself. That is not what is happening here in reality. Just thought I’d help you express things accurately. Now this issue goes to [Ex’s fourth other state lawyer], as it is incessantly harassing, without refute. But, I’m not surprised.
10. Fact is that, like most immigrant children raised in the heart of [third state], I was immersed in and embraced a solid Catholic/ Italian/Irish & Jewish culture and just cannot understand telling a child, and us outside the court-room doors, that a Ghost left a wet spot on the bed and moved clothes. If you say this is not accurate, again you call [daughter] [last name] a liar. Sure you want to keep doing that, Dad? Did [spelled incorrectly Step Mother] lie too? What is true here?
11. Fact is [daughter] has no privacy to speak with me. She is aware she is recorded- as she states “Momma, call recording on” as she mimics your recorder’s audio statement. The rest on that topic is data supported and too much to mention. All things in due time.
12. Fact is that you fail to mention your recordings of phone conversations. Failed to provide law that justifies that it is OK. But you love to refer to “what A, B or C person said.” Plan to share? Should you be recording, Dad?
Just some simple irrefutable facts. It is NOT possible for you to defeat these points, and that is sad for you.
Now, on the most IMPORTANT topic- again- what is your response to us getting [daughter] in [home town], [home state] at 3:00PM on July 31st, 2010. Will you give her to us voluntarily? Have you decided?
Please respond immediately on the pick up arrangements for [daughter] for Staturday, July 31 at 3PM.
Thanks.
[The Ex]
From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Tue, July 27, 2010 10:48:24 AM
Subject: Re: Still Unaddressed through spcs issue Part 2 Fw: Various Concerns
[The Ex];
This is becoming insane, redundant and particularly sounding very unhinged. Your statements have me quite concerned as your are harping on the past and refusing to deal with reality...
The [last name]s, whom are your in laws, were keeping me informed of the situation and climate in [other state]. I would suggest you contact them in regards to the information they are disseminating. If there is an issue, please direct it through them. My concern was whether your boyfriend has a gun in the home that [daughter] will be staying at. That is all. As for your self-deprecating “whore” comments, it is through [daughter] and through [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] that I learned about all the fiancees and boyfriends... again try to focus on [daughter] as I have.
There are no lawsuits against me, pending or otherwise, as my claims against both “Doctors” were not only legitimately filed but I feel comfortable with the final outcome.
I made no false accusations nor did my wife or I lie on the stand, there were no lies brought by us however I chose to provide irrefutable evidence to court, which was your right to do as well. You chose not to but apparently it seems as you are looking for a “do over” which will not occur.
[Step Mother] is neither erratic nor angered in her responses to you. She has spoken to your mother and father once during a time which they called repeatedly and disrupted our household. She has asked you specifically for pictures of you for [daughter]’s room with no response, which I believe was the last communication between you two, I will not address your claims further as there is no legitimate reason to. but I will state that [Step Mother] and [daughter] have an excellent relationship... Dr. [home town therapist], again, can help you best understand that as she has taken [daughter] and sat in with [daughter] on some sessions.
As for the past, please leave it there. Dr. [Court Appointed Psychologist] addressed your ‘concerns and allegations’ and found no basis for them - neither did the judge, the mediator or the multitude of attorneys who dropped your case.
Regarding eyeglasses... [daughter] has stated that the cat took her glasses as the cat randomly takes some small items. I never told her that the cat took her glasses however, she keeps stating that including to Dr. [home town therapist]. I spoke with Lens Crafters and it was stated that a bifocal prescription should have never been given to such a young child. It was stated that the technician was “pressured” into giving her the glasses. I did address this through [webcam software] as your inquiry was initially there. I will have our eye doctor re-evaluate her eyes before the school.
I understand the Haitian/Jamaican/Trinidadian/Guyanese cultures believe in “spirits” as you phrased it... however being that no adult here is of that decent, I am unsure why you would mention such things. I am unsure how to address the rest of your claims since it just seems silly and trivial.
The correction and family meeting was no “summit.” We have family meetings once a week where EVERYONE’S thoughts are heard. The issue of no tv and wii until calls were done was succinctly handled, I think it was a one sentence “correction” which has been followed through on by [daughter]. She is completely understood devoting her time solely to you. And my statement was I am TYPICALLY not around however, some nights I am, some nights I am not, simple fact of life. I try to provide her with privacy to speak with you, that is all.
Fact is [daughter] is here, she will remain here and she will have a loving relationship with you. [daughter] is happy and comfortable, we will do our best to keep it that way.
[Custodial Dad]
On Jul 27, 2010, at 8:58 AM, [The Ex] [last name] wrote:
unh
Hi, Dad.
Please see the second part of my responses to the email you sent me written in below. Read. Comment and let’s make progress, please.
G. Your Dating Status:
I really do not care whom you date however, I think I would be remiss to remind you that you are already married and I don’t understand your statements of a new marriage . [daughter] had a very hard time adjusting to the sudden appearance and disappearance of [The Ex’s Current Husband]... I think you would do better to focus on [daughter] and the transients in and out of [daughter]’s life. having so many fiances and boyfriends is simply unhealthy for a little girl to witness and troubling to hear her recount the list of men that she grew attached to over the years. However, my concern was the firearm instance between your boyfriend and husband, which was documented with your local authorities and you have failed to address seriously.
Pardon my literary reference in this context, but I need to address this “whore making” of me in which you always engage. It is awfully distressing and disrespectful and I beg you to stop. The reference below is from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary. Specifically I refer you to the second part of the first definition as your attempts to frame me in this image of being “immoral and promiscuous” most closely matched this definition as pasted below.
Main Entry: 1whore
Pronunciation: \?ho?r, ?hu?r\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English hore, from Old English h?re; akin to Old Norse h?ra whore, h?rr adulterer, Latin carusdear — more at charity
Date: before 12th century
1 : a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : prostitute; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman
2 : a male who engages in sexual acts for money
3 : a venal or unscrupulous person
Surely, you will disregard my request to refrain from this behavior, as you have always disregarded my pleas to not talk to me in this insulting way. I anticipate that you, undoubtedly, will find a way to entwine your accusations with issues of our daughter, as it appears from your behavior and messages through the years that you are unable to cease this form of abuse. It is degrading and destructive to constantly tell me and accuse me of romantic/sexual escapades with “multitudes of men” in and out of my door. This is what you have done historically. It is what you are doing now with the emails you send me. There is a character and term for this conduct, but I will leave that for an expert to state. Cease this abusive angle. And please stop trying to couple your disturbing comments with issues of our child’s safety.
I am clearly seeing that you contradict yourself in constantly claiming no interest in my assumed romantic life while you continue to address my dating- or lack of -and infusing your suspicions and accusations. Frankly, this feels very harassing as it always has since I was dating you... from your restriction of my college friends for coffee at home with our parents -to accusing me of multiple boyfriends as the reason I left our marriage, to the accusations of wanting “freedom to do what I want” (in your statements to me and in your angry call to my father in February of 2005), and when I left your documented abuse to come to [other state], then your continued yelling at me on phone calls (8/13/2005 as ONE of the events) to you – calls that were made for [daughter] and you-about your anger at me for the “boyfriends” you accused me of having, and then- consistent with the theme of many like you- to today’s message of your caution to me about focusing on our daughter instead of men-
Can you see that this needs to stop, [Custodial Dad]?
Let the logic help you to improve your communication and treatment of me. Rationally, think it through, [Custodial Dad]. Look at the product of my time and energy which is our top-of-the-class, honor student, best behaved, well socially adjusted, daughter with full faith in God and angles, with strength of person and spirit to withstand all of the chaos you brought to her door with false accusation in a custody suit. I have raised a beautiful and bright little person and I have gotten my RN with success, as I promised I would accomplish an improved situation for [daughter]’s sake. It is self-evident that my time and my life is and always been my daughter’s to have. With all the therapy you have her in and interaction you claim with her teachers, did you miss the obvious fact that a tremendous amount of parenting time and efforts have gone into cultivating such a wonderful person like [daughter]? Did it occur to you that I, her mother, was completely responsible for the primary tasks that contributed to [daughter]’s person? You NEVER have to thank me, just do not disrespect what I have dedicated to [daughter]’s development. Even her love of you comes from me teaching her to love you. Think for one moment – if you can be honest with yourself-please, think about what she has seen of your behavior when she was around you. I told her that you were a great Dad who then became a legendary Dad in her heart with my stories of how you ate chocolate cake with her and got hot chocolate for her at Shawnee and put up a christmas tree at the house- I tried for years to revise her negative memories of you and replace them with positive ones- memories you created with your actions. I tried to explain that you would visit when you could get off of work, even though I knew you were not working and never accepted my invites to visit her. So let’s be grateful for my parenting and cease the self-serving criticisms of me. It is unwarranted, to say the least.
[daughter]’s safety:
I ask that you keep your communication with me to the company [daughter] will be in when she is with me. She is safe and as I have stated, contrary to all you claims, I have no company with Armed Men or Laser Shooting Aliens or Fire Breathing Dragons. There is no gun violence in my life nor has there ever been and I have no reason to expect that to change- ever. If you have a police report to share, send it. And please be prepared for court for any and all accusations you choose to make with the company of [The Ex’s Current Husband] and [The Ex's current In-laws] [last name], because we will not leave such claims to rest. It is a fact that we will defend and file every charge available to us against all and any of you, as acting separately and coordinating together in efforts to slander, false accusations etc.(Like you falsely accused both Dr’s Lemoine and Dr. [doctor] here in [other state]. Are those lawsuits against you still pending? I’m interested to know.) And after we hold criminal proceedings against you all for this behavior, then file so you will pay ALL attorney fees for wasting our financial resources earned for [daughter]. So let’s move forward – prepared. Send it. I’m ready. You are harassing me with this topic. Interestingly, in fact, the only time we had to report any incident was an attempt to pick our front door lock at the Gateway condo AFTER I disclosed the address to you and [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] in court. That was the only incidence of concern to me. Was it merely coincidence, [Custodial Dad]? I do hope so. You mention “witnesses” at the Gateway condo who are tracking my movement at there to such an extent that you are caliming certainty that I do not live there? Are you having me watched? What is this about? Your “priviate eye” comments are of concern. Please explain.
F. Phone Calls:
[daughter] is not to be doing anything except speak to you. At 7PM [daughter] and her older sibling are supposed to call and speak to their respective parents BEFORE tv and wii time. This time should also be AFTER chores are done. We will have a family meeting to discuss this as I am typically starting bedtime routines with the younger kids which affords both kids privacy. We may simply need to rework the schedule a bit to ensure you are given [daughter]’s undivided attention.
Please, Dad. No need for a Summit
I would like to bring your attention to the fact that you have been in the same room as you have talked with [daughter] in our call time(redirecting her conversation with me), and I can hear you talking to others and I hear other adult voices talking to children when you are at home on call time. So let’s always remember the role we play in keeping our children on task. We are responsible to set the environment for their proper actions. Look within, Dad. It is given that a child will need time and room to improve. [daughter] did nothing wrong according to her circumstances. Please do not reprimand her. I have no complaints about her attention or interest in her call to me. It is all appropriate for her age and her transitions. Let’s be clear on that, again- as I have stated that in previous email when you said you’d “correct her.”
I would take a look at the time at which you place calls and do [webcam software] as there may be something you could about keeping the times consistent to help [daughter] know what to expect. Take a look at the call log. Please let me know, but [daughter] is not to be blamed, I’m sure. There is always something parents can do to make children more comfortable and ease the child’s compliance with their responsibilities at such a young age. There is a book titled “Redirecting Children’s Behavior” that speaks of the parents’ seeing things from a child’s perspective and I have thought it to be very illuminating.
G. [webcam software]:
[webcam software] isn’t always feasible but I can guarantee, at the very least, an every Sunday [webcam software] going forward, which I have proposed for the last few months. If we are able, I will be sure to text and notify as early as possible on alternate days. [daughter] is very excited to see you on [webcam software] this evening!
I’m glad for [daughter] to enjoy [webcam software] with me. Thanks for being open to Skyping other days also. But words mean nothing if there is no follow-through, right? Let’s put our intentions into action. Can you choose one more day and set that for us to move to increase our [webcam software] time with defined commitment? How about Friday since there is no school the next day? We can even do it at different times on different days as arranged by weekly communication via email based on work schedules, etc.
H. “[daughter]’s Attorney:”
I am unsure what you are implying by telling [daughter] she has an attorney. Obviously, she does not have her own attorney and you lack any authority in which to secure her any such counsel. If the courts deem it necessary, the court would hire an attorney for her specifically without your undue influences. This is the type of communication that you have with [daughter] that is neither appropriate nor advisable. This will be addressed with Dr. [home town therapist] however, it was also brought to your attorney’s attention.
Are you taping the calls? What law can you reference that allows for your call recordings? Please share the recording of me telling [daughter] that. Actually, any and all taping of [daughter]’s calls with me are to be sent to me or my attorney via electronic form or any audio record you have available to you, as previously requested. If you want o refer to my statements, provide me with the statements in audio. That’s data I can work with. Everything else from you is “case making.” When you supply the audio, I’ll be happy to address any and all claims. Additionally, please provide all of the messages/ voicemails and recordings of my parents demonstrating the behaviors you claim and we will address all of it in one clear and leagally admissible email, filing, etc. Because, Dad, false accusations are not advised by the law. With all your legal knowledge you impart to me, that did NOT escape you, did it? Kindly, let me know your thoughts and your commitment to share your recordings. You seem to think you can get away with accusing and slandering anyone and everyone to promote your own agenda- whatever that might be.
I. My wife:
You completely missed the purpose of her letter. She asked you to refrain from contacting her through her personal email address. She still has access to the family email address ([Custodial Dad’s home email]) as you are well aware. This is a far cry from what you interpreted her email to mean as she has contacted you concerning [daughter] several times since [daughter] moved home.
It is no mis-interpretation. Your wife has threatened to contact my email host when she initially emailed me- I don’t know how to FIND anyone’s email on the internet- I’m not that modern. She has threatened my mother to block her calls when Granny called to talk to you, Dad, to arrange for [daughter] to go to her cousin’s third birthday in [THIRD STATE
J. Text Messages:
I keep mentioning this but I am not getting your text messages. Last one was received on June 21. I’m getting other texts so I know my phone is working properly... please ensure you have the correct number or that your texts are actually sent.
You have given us three numbers to reach [daughter], all of which either go to voicemail or are disconnected, as has occurred, or that are answered by your wife who yells at us if she does not deny an option to speak with [daughter]- or you, as in Granny’s experience. It is a wonder you get any texts. But I’m glad you are now able to afford/ use/ access your text messages.
It is interesting to get your message written above: Why would you think it is again someone else’s fault if you are not getting texts? I have observed that you have always selected what parts of emails or letters or court orders you choose to recognize or if you chose to recognize them at all. Why is that? I have the texts I’ve sent. You keep the ones you have. When necessary, we will manage what is unaddressed communication, if any. I am sure you manage your texts to ensure I can communicate with my child and about setting up contact, visits etc. for [daughter] with me and my family. I am sure I have my phone records and very reliable phone service.
Oh, this is your last point. I see, as nothing follows but your e-signature. As I stated above, you are selective in your topics, or perhaps you forgot to mention [daughter]’s glasses or the lack of Naimh having her glasses. So let me ask, Dad. Where are the pair of reading and distance prescription glasses [daughter] had on her transport to [home state] in March 2010? She reports having them until the forth week or so of being in your care. How did you not replace the glasses she needed for school? How did you not mention that to me? Why disregard her vision- she is a young student and we made sure she was seen by an eye doctor and received the proper glasses for her needs to preserve her vision and make her learning comfortable. I sent you the information in email about her account at Lens Crafters, a nationally accessible eyeglass store with computerized records. Why not mention the lost glasses? Why tell [daughter] that the cat took them off her night stand and put them in the basement? What kind of explaination is that for glasses that she not only loved for the specific blue frame, but needed? How did you explain that she would do without her glasses for the classroom and her school work because they were in the basement? How would you like to resolve this? Dad, the glasses I purchased need to be replaced- and the child is clear that they were placed on her night stand the night before they were missing. I am perplexed that she went to school for THREE MONTHS without her glasses. Why not tell me? How is this ok? Will you claim that her account is unreliable? Will you claim you did not get the email on Lens Crafters?
The issue of GOHST and PARANORMAL activity in your home:
I never thought I would ever have to write on this topic to anyone, ever. But I must try and understand what has been presented to us since November 2009. [spelled incorrectly Step Mother] stated that you have a ghost in your house and [daughter] confirms the same. [spelled incorrectly Step Mother] specifically stated that the ghost leaves a wet spot on the bed at night. What is this about? What else does the Ghost do? Why is our daughter being told this type of stuff? [daughter] mentioned to me in March that the GHOST moved her pile of clothes in her room. I know she did not learn that here, as we taught her a christian world view filled with Angels and good in the world. So I am concerned and interested in what you tell her about this active Ghost and deliberate cat activity (if the two are even related) as I am unclear how she is experiencing paranormal activity in your home. I understand that the Hatitian and Jamacian cultures believe in “spirits” differently than my daughter has understood in the past. I just want to know what I can do to respect your teaching of paranormal activity when [daughter] mentions these types of things to us. Please share and educate me on how I can be more culturally sensitive to this very unfamiliar topic. I appreciate it.
Please respond as I could not be more specific to your email.
I think it would be useful to communicate clearly on [daughter]’s needs and I want you to know that I am here to help make her life comfortable, no matter where she lives.
I understand that you are trying to parent many children –six children, but I am here as a resource to help with [daughter] specifically so please let me know what she needs, when she needs it and I will provide to the best of what I am able to do and I will ask her maternal grandparents to help me with what she needs if it exceeds my means.
I will always try to understand your decisions and will support your actions for [daughter]’s health and education, etc. So please do not conceal information on glasses or school or anything else that I can help facilitate for [daughter]’s enjoyment and comfort.
I hope this format is helpful to address specific topics. It is your email “blitz” to me that I titled the document on my photographed screen to which you and your attorney made mention. I have not the time nor interest to be inefficient in communicating with you.
Also, please communicate honestly to your attorney, as we will obviously have to file against your claims each time you are dishonest and that is expensive as I try to provide for [daughter].
Fewer and pertinent emails are great. I appreciate a move in that direction.- Thanks. -[The Ex]
[Custodial Dad]
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]
[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
To: [Custodial dad email]@[email].com; [Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
Sent: Tue, July 27, 2010 12:16:14 AM
Subject: Still Unaddressed through sibling issue Po Fw: Various Concerns
Hi, Dad.
See below for my responses, please.
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Sun, July 18, 2010 6:20:13 PM
Subject: Various Concerns
[The Ex]:
I am doing my best to answer your questions but please note the redundancy in most of your issues and statements. I have reviewed past communications and found all the answers to your questions contained in the various emails and letters.
A. [daughter] Enrolled in School:
I think you can answer that question yourself being as though you have copies of her report cards and I assume have spoken to her teacher. She was a transfer student and the official package was obtained from [school] Charter to [home town] directly, which I assume is the reason I was not asked for any documents beyond my address verification and identification. However, I still lack [daughter]’s accurate social security number.
I know she was enrolled at [school] for the remainder fo second grade. I asked if you had her enrolled for 2010- 2011 for third grade since [home town] district NEEDS documents you deny having. Is [daughter] enrolled in school for third grade? How were you able to do so wihout the required documents?
B. [daughter]’s Diet and Records Request:
I will not be subjecting [daughter] to unnecessary blood work and/or tests. The grounds for your request are not based on anything factual nor measurable and despite my reassurances to you, you fail to pay attention to fact—all of my children, including [daughter] are on a healthy diet and followed by the pediatrician who is not only aware of the diet we have them on but has evaluated our diet for different reasons. According to [daughter], this is the healthiest she has eaten ever, outside of your father feeding her when she resided with him. Outside of not eating hard candies, popcorn, bubble gum and taffy, [daughter] has not had any adjustment to her palate extender, which is not an implant. And for the record, [daughter] is growing taller and although she is visibly slimmer it is due to the fact that fast food and junk food is not apart of our diet... those are treats not meals unlike her diet while she was in your care.
No criticism to [daughter]’s dietary changes. Think it is a great option. Just wanted to have medical data to evaluate how she is doing. A simple height and weight graph is all sometimes needed. A blood test can be helpful. A nutrition assessment by journal or child’s report is more helpful. That’s all. No defense needed. Unless you are now also a medical professional, I cannot accept your evaluation and “assurances” as nutrition is not an unqualified opinion based topic.
I have no information from [daughter]’s medical providers as there are no court issues that are coming up. Beyond receipts, I have no session notes or progress reports. I have no idea why I would need such information so I would suggest you contact the providers directly. You are treating this like this is a custody case, which it isn’t, the time for evidence has passed and you’d save yourself a ton of legal fees if you were to understand that simple fact.
Are you saying you have no access to medical, dental or psych files for [daughter]? I understand that you do and I am asking you to please give me your copies of her files. I would appreciate the receipts you mention so I can calculate her child support please. So questions were: Can you please send me copies of [daughter]’s medical, dental and psych files? Can I have copies of the receipts/ bills you mention?
C. Transportation to [city third state]:
We have already agreed that I will pick [daughter] up on the 15th from the airport. However the dispute lies in pick up as you are laying the full burden of transport on me. Your mother can arrange to pick [daughter] up EARLIER on August 1st. My proposal for a 6 am pick up was merely a suggestion. As [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] mentioned to your attorney, we are both obligated to take responsibility for [daughter]’s transportation and you are failing to do so.
I received your suggestions of either
a. 6AM pick up on August 1st or
b. night before pick up with return on August 14th.
changing the return date seemed fine with you.
Sadly, Dad, either option you so strictly offer is indicative of “frustrating visitation” as they fail both a cost feasibility analysis and a time distance analysis performed by any parent who is just trying to get a child to the airport on time for a flight out, with respect for the time the child has been ensured with the parent.
Kindly, let me explain through these simple facts, Dad.
Here is your suggestion in clear mathematical terms:
Option a: Pick child up at 6am from your home in [home town], [home state]. Clearly you made an impossible option which fails miserably at your responsibility to [daughter] to get her to her Mom. I have paid the fare and my attorney to handle your refusal to work with me to set up this visit. I was sorely disappointed to see you offer a 6AM pick up so unyieldingly. Do you know what would happen if we picked up at 6AM? We would miss the flight out at [city third state] on sheer mathematics. Here’s how:
Time & Distance Analysis for Practicality Assessment:
Data source is MapQuest- see attachments please.
a.)Distance from Dad’s to Granny’s is 73.76 miles one way at 1hr, 27mins.
b.)Distance from Dad’s to [city third state] Airport is 72.33 miles one way at 1hr, 20 minutes.
c.)Distance from Granny’s to [city third state] Airport is 8.71 miles one way at 16 minutes.
According to [city third state] Airport requirements, child must be at airport for boarding 2 hours before flight time which is 9:14 AM. [Ex’s fourth other state lawyer] sent that info last time with attachments to [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]. Pick up from Dad’s at 6 AM puts child at airport at 7:20 AM in theory- after required boarding time - we are actually already late for flight. But, let’s continue -to promote shared understanding. Shuttle wait time- from parking to airport doors is 12-15 minutes, not including shuttle travel time which is variable, but more than zero minutes. So that is minimally at 7:32AM, child would be at airport doors. Distance to gate and time for transport of child is undetermined, but more than zero units. So we have missed the opportunity to board and the flight is gone. Six AM offer of pick up fails as a viable option to successfully board flight, even in theory. Practically, with transition times in and out of cars and shuttle and management of luggage, maybe bathroom use for child- it is a gross failure in time allotment.
I am perplexed, Dad. so please explain to me how you claim justification of SIX AM as viable with REAL data about how your proposal/ suggestion works for [daughter] to get her time with her mother? The refusal to come up with a reasonable plan is already costing attorney fees.
Where have you even given cursory consideration to [daughter]’s comfort and ease of travel? Early 6AM wake-up vs a night at Granny’s in a waterfront home with full security within [community]’s gates?
With all your reference to the court order, how did you miss that you only agreed to LESS than the COURT ordered minimum time in April? [daughter] was given 15 days with Mom. Six AM on August 1st with return on August 15 at 3PM to you at gate only gives her- technically- 14 days and 9 hours-as you insist on strict numbers. That is mathematically less than 15 days- she is 15 hours short of shared time, Dad, with your offer. That not only puts you into lack of compliance, but that steals MINIMUM time she has been ordered with Mom. Why? Why be difficult about an earlier pick up the night before, Saturday evening with return on August 15th, as she exits the aircraft according to Jet Blue’s schedule? Why not work with us?
We have paid up-front, as always bearing ALL costs to facilitate what you are partially responsible for, by order. We could have asked for the funds to be given to me before I booked the flight, but I did not. I could have asked for you to book since you have [daughter] there with you. I did not ask you to pay. Rather, I took the financial and parental responsibility of booking flights and getting [daughter] accompanied by my mother to save costs and provide for her comfort- with a non-stop ticket. Do you understand that I have done everything to make this trip possible from my position? Can you see where you could have taken the responsibility to get [daughter] to me and I could have had to repay you for your up-front costs? You have been very used to having me and my family pay for EVERYTHING then claiming “victim”, presenting yourself as “faultless” and “not responsible” for your share of responsibility to [daughter], however you want your well presented “rights as a father” to be ensured by all of us in the world.
The free ride is over. You are responsible for 50% of [daughter]’s travel, including taxes. You are responsible for 50% of the effort to comply with the court ordered 15 days she is to have with her Mom. Does that make sense to you? Does it seem fair? Is it consistent with the order? Please correct me if I am wrong. I would appreciate you kindly setting me on the correct rules if I am wrong.
Furthermore, on the issue of refusing to facilitate this visit with Mom, why not provide one or two outfits for [daughter] to wear when she arrives? You have refused to send her with things to wear. You have refused to send her shoes to wear. I will have to provide those things in full since it has been four months and you say she is taller and thinner- and I will gladly do so with AGAIN increased expenses because you refuse to cooperate for [daughter]’s comfort. Why the lack of cooperation?
You have utilized my purchases, specifically, [daughter]’s jacket and sneakers which she used EXCLUSIVELY for school as you did not replace those items for her with more appropriate gear for [home state]’s cold vs. the [other state] cool spell they were purchased to accommodate. Yet, you explicitly emailed your refusal to send her with things to wear- it would cost you nothing- she is allowed a carry-on. Why the consistent lack of cooperation, Dad? Why cost me more than is necessary for this trip? I sent in excess of underwear, sleep and day clothes with swim suit and various shoes for [daughter]’s trip to you last summer- even a blanket and sleeping bag and gifts for all of you- to such an extent THAT YOU KEPT HER THINGS and had them there for her when you removed her to live with you. Why withhold her clothes and shoes she could use on her trip here? You can itemize them and I can send them ALL back. Please, work with us, Dad. I’m begging you again.
So now, let’s defeat the cost claims:
The claim you made of unfair cost burden to you, which was restated by your attorney, is defeated terribly with simple math, again. Furthermore, you lie if you claim, as per attorney, that we required you to travel the full distance- I clearly offered to have Granny meet you HALF WAY
Cost Analysis for Fairness Assessment:
a.)Distance from Dad’s to Granny’s is 73.76 miles one way at 1hr, 27mins.
b.)Distance from Dad’s to [city third state] Airport is 72.33 miles one way at 1hr, 20 minutes.
c.)Distance from Granny’s to [city third state] Airport is 8.71 miles one way at 16 minutes.
d.) Dad drives a 2008 Ford van, max of 8 cylinders. The miles per gallon calculation is between 15-19 mpg, manufacture calculations. We will use 15 mpg, the minimum millage per gallon. At 73.76 miles between both houses, with 15mpg(minimum) for a 2008 Ford, 8 cylinder van, Dad would use 4.917333 gallons of gas. Calculated at highest price for gas, $2.81/ gallon is a cost of $13.8177 (less than $14 to Granny’s) one way for a total return trip of $27.6354 (less than $28 for Full trip from and back to [home state]). Total trip cost for Dad to [city third state] Airport is 72.33 miles, at $2.81per gallon, with 15 mpg in the 8 cylinder vehicle, is thus 4.[xxx] gallons, which is $13.54 one way and thus round trip for Dad to and from [city third state] airport is $27.08. Let’s add toll of one dollar (DWG toll bridge is 75 cents for automobile- five dollars for 2-axle truck), which is an over-calculation- the return trip for Dad to Granny’s would be $28 plus $1 which totals to $29, an over calculation.
e.) Dad and Attorney claim that Granny would be paying far less for parking at the airport as she helps to facilitate [daughter]’s visit. [city third state] airport charges $24 per day for parking, which totals to $336 for parking ONLY. Nothing has been assessed for her plane fare or her taxi fare or her gas mileage to HELP out OF KINDNESS, not requirement, for her grandchild’s comfort. We as parents are required, and are grossly in error if we can compare merely her parking fees of $336 dollars to the maximum $29 dollars Dad would spend for drop off to Granny’s home as unfair to Dad.
Did I calculate wrong? Or is it true that Granny’s parking fees would be in EXCESS of TEN TIMES the cost for Dad to drop [daughter] off to either the airport or to Granny’s home? Please, kindly send your corrections.
b.) For your second “reasonable offer” you have proposed that I return [daughter] one day early if she is picked up on Saturday evening. That logically requests that I change the flight, which requires yet MORE up-front costs to Mom, while I have not even seen a dollar of the previously owed fares for the original booking in early July 2010. In fact, I see in this email the makings of an EXCUSE NOT to pay without the UNDEFINED “OFFICIAL receipt”- Please clarify that definition, Dad. In the meantime...l let’s move on for better understanding.
Here is how you have financially strained this process of shared time FURTHER:
Jet Blue specifics for flight change per July 26th inquiry:
flight for August 2nd 2010 is $153.00. Old ticket $137.00. At $100 flight change and difference of $16 increase for ticket, this is $116 total change for [daughter]’s ticket. My mother will also pay $116 to change her ticket and absorb that cost. Dad and Mom will share and additional $58 each.
For the record, if you involve my attorney, I will let him handle the situation instead of having cross discussions, such as this, confusing the matter further.
Your refusal to work with me at minimum to no costs required me using an attorney. You threatened to refuse my time share this summer. You refused any options to get [daughter] to the airport so she could board that flight. You are initiating a refusal to pay your portion of the air fare. You have accused my family of unkind communication with you. You have “intercepted” Grand-Dad’s email to his grandchild in which he expresses his hopes to see her- after years of seeing her all the time. My parents have been told that their calls will be blocked. Grand-dad has been told explicitly NOT to call his grandchild. You send false accounts of all of these events and other events repeatedly, which I am sure to receive again after this message.
Of course I have an attorney.
I have seen your actions repeatedly and historically in disregard of [daughter]’s bond with me as her Mom. It started days after birth and continues now. I’m not surprised, Dad. I am aware and will take whatever the courts will give me to have a relationship with our daughter. I will be grateful for any time and I will respect our daughter’s desire to have time with Mom, also.
Please refrain from blaming others on ALL FRONTS- even your hire of an attorney. In fact, you only need an attorney because YOU REFUSE to comply with simple, detailed court requirement- calls or time share, and on and on. By golly, if you could just follow Judge [Other State Judge]’s order, you would not need [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] right now. Please refrain from AGAIN setting the stage for making me responsible for your attorney fees- your tactics are glaring and sad.
For your comfort, [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] is a respectable, very competent attorney, limited only by your reckless dishonesty. [Ex’s fourth other state lawyer] and I are glad to work with Attorney [last name].
Dad, you can hire anyone you want or you can choose to work with me when I send you emails begging you to not increase my costs BEFORE I even contact [Ex’s fourth other state lawyer] for his help as I try to get time as ordered with Naimh.
You have the FULL authority to give more time and you are choosing to curb EVEN the MINIMUM court ordered time. It is a sad day, Dad.
Monies for [daughter]’s flight will be promptly paid upon my receiving an actual receipt for her ticket. I received flight confirmation only.
I sent the official receipt to you via email attachment- to two of your email addresses. Do you think Jet Blue site is fraudulent when it issues the payment online? Please pay without excuses, [Custodial Dad]. If you don’t have the money, just say so. Please, don’t put the responsibility for your share of the court ordered half on “lack of an official receipt.”
D. Child Support:
I think you are not following the language of the order... Child Support was remanded to Judge [Other State Judge] meaning, he will decide how much; how often and when. My financials will be provided then or you can provide yours, when you obtain employment, to [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]. Your requests are obscure considering it took six requests to have [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] obtain your financials and mine have been filed with two of your attorneys previously.
Actually, I understand that I am responsible for paying child support to you for [daughter]’s care from March 3rd onward. To determine the amounts, i understand that I need to know your financial information and mine and my employment status is not a determining factor, as parents are REQUIRED to have the MINIMUM paid to child support, even though they are not working- so I am prepared to pay from March 3rd which is why you have received the $25 dollars in check from the B&T bank which I sent towards whatever the amounts will be for the previous months, excluding June and July. This difference in our understanding of the support requirements may explain why the bank records show that you have NOT cashed these checks YET, but now maybe you can just go ahead and cash them all. By the end of this week you would have $125 dollars in checks from me- If August’s payment is included this week, I would have sent $150 in total- so go ahead and use it as it is [daughter]’s right to have it and more is to come from my efforts to set up payments for her immediately. Maybe you can get us your records now if you are able to understand my objectives better through this communication. I don’t think [Ex’s fourth other state lawyer] would have acted against the law by trying to work with you and me to set up my support payments to [daughter]. Are you thinking or advised that the court would have to initiate a child support order? Are you waiting for that action? Please correct me, but I think it is my/ our responsibility to initiate that our daughter is receiving what is owed to her financially - by law. So let’s just send our paper work to each other and set it up, Dad. [Ex’s fourth other state lawyer] and [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] can surely help us and the court will surely assign the maximum and beyond as they see fit. My attorney’s office will help us set up the required documents, so I guarantee there is no obscurity as we proceed. Can you agree to work with me to reduce court costs and attorney fees? As it stands, I requested financial documents of you, which many in our position verify on the public internet sites by the child support enforcement departments, etc. and then parents fill out a worksheet and determine the amounts to be paid. All I have are your refusals to send your information to us. Want to have me send you the site or did you go on already?
Direct Deposit is not necessary, if you send any monies, I will be sure to note the amount to my attorney when the time comes.
I have sent checks and [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] made no mention of them. My bank has no record of you cashing them. That is why I am asking for direct deposit, so there is no need for either of us to await payment or payment receipt verification. Please reconsider allowing for direct deposit. Do you not have a bank account? Let me know- we’ll help you. We can maybe set one up so you can use the child support funds as I pay them.
E. Medical Card:
You were provided a card and a means to contact [insurance company]. Being that you do not have authorization to take [daughter] to the doctor unless it is an emergency. You really do not need yet another replacement card. You can simply have the medical center send me a bill and i will forward it to my insurance company, There is no concealing information, the information is right in front of you and has been for several years.
In fact, you have inconsistent coverage of [daughter] which was never utilized by us, since your work history and attempts as securing medical coverage have been sadly unreliable. I have all the records directly from each insurance company since you lost coverage from Atena in 2003, then repeated that cycle in years to come, contrary to your presentations in court. I have spoken with the insurance companies’ representatives. I followed your insistence that I use your medical cards for [daughter], but I could not rely on them for the aforementioned reasons, unfortunately. I understand that you are not covered by the insurer you presented me with last year. I understand that the employing business you claim a position with does NOT cover Naimh’s or YOUR medical, to say the least, Dad. Is that the [insurance company] card to which you refer? What is your employer again...maybe I’m mis-informed? Please kindly correct my mis-understandings. Actually, I can NOT take Naimh to the doctor and would NOT, as my rights are so minimal already. That is what makes me so curious why you won’t just give me the current insurance information for [daughter], as I need to determine how to supplement or pay for all of her insurance needs as part of child support. Why else would I ask you for her insurance information, when I clearly asked for it when I asked for your documents to calculate child support? Why not share, Dad? Can you please let me know what her coverage percentages are and co-pays are and I will make our coverage of [daughter] more cost effective for both of us, as I should have hospital rates on insurance, PLEASE let me pay my part?
F. [daughter]’s new sibling:
We have handled her adjustment just fine and honestly your input is neither warranted nor necessary. I will remind you that [daughter] is under the care of Dr. [home town therapist] who has specialized in similar cases such as this, who has guided us since [daughter]’s arrival.
I offered anything you deemed appropriate to help [daughter] enjoy her new sibling, Number 5- that’s all. Am I correct in understanding that you do not see any role for me in [daughter]’s adjustment to this change of an additional sibbling? Do you think it is best for me to ignore this aspect of her life, or would you accept my offer to share a book with our daughter that you approve for her age group to help her adjust?
Did Dr. [home town therapist] suggest that I not talk about anything regarding [daughter]’s newborn sibling also?
I will respect your decision, so please help me understand.
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]
[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
--
[Custodial Dad] X [last name]
[XXX]-[xxx]-0185
~ “Actions are the seed of fate deeds grow into destiny.” Harry S Truman ~
[Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com> Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 1:57 PM
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
If the e-mail response sent more-then-once please accpt my apology, and as I have already stated, your lawyer contacted my lawyer so I have responded to my lawyer directly
X
On Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 1:06 PM, [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com> wrote:
What is your answer, Dad?
Please write me. I’m begging you, please. It does save so much money if you would just email me your answer back in a reply. Please, Dad. Please.
Here is my response to one of the messages you keep sending to my account today-
Sadly, this seems null an void asit does not meet the Minimum requirements of the court orderd time for [daughter]. But, surely I’m no expert.
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: [last name] & [last name]s <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Tue, July 27, 2010 11:01:59 AM
Subject: Fwd: Summer Confirmation + flight, rates, attached jet blue info
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
Date: Wed, Apr 14, 2010 at 9:07 PM
Subject: Re: Summer Confirmation + flight, rates, attached jet blue info
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>, [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[The Ex’s school].edu>
[The Ex];
I propose noon on Aug 1st until noon on Aug 15th. It is unreasonable to expect me to drive to [town in third state] (that late and that far for) and back for the exchange for both drop off and pick up.
We can meet at [city third state] Airport at noon on each given day, unless [daughter] is staying in [THIRD STATE
We can do the tickets one of two ways, you can purchase the ticket and I will refund you one half of the price after you forward me proof of purchase or I can purchase [daughter] a direct ticket home and you will be soley responsible for her flight to [town in other state]. She is old enough to fly unattended on a direct flight. I can get her a direct ticket from [town in other state] to [town in home state] Airport, which is the most convenient airport for us. If you wish to accompany her, that will be your expense soley.
As for extended vacation, we will take it as it comes. We need to play that one by ear as there are many, many uncertanties already in place for this vacation. For instance, let us establish that contact will be daily for [daughter] and I, without interference, schedules, dropped calls or other various excuses that you have employed from time to time. I will also expect to know the exact location and verifiable address of where [daughter] will be staying PRIOR to her travels to [other state]. I will not allow her to be anywhere that I do not have an accurate and true address for and the [other state address] address will not suffice.
[Custodial Dad]
On Apr 14, 2010, at 5:14 PM, [The Ex] [last name] wrote:
[Custodial Dad],
Got your message dated 4/13/2010.
The two weeks are confirmed- August 1st through 15th, 2010.
I would like another week- at least, so please let me know - tag a week on before or after this 8/1-8/15 time or do seperately.
(Ordered time is only a minimum. We can certainly extend from 15 day minimum.)
As I notified you,
I will take [daughter] from August 1st, or before- through August 15th, 2010- and can extend after.
As you were comfortable with last year,
you can bring her to my mother’s home on [street] in [community], [town in third state], [third state], as we did last summer.
Drop off: You are welcome to bring [daughter] on Saturday, July 31st at 6:00PM so she can wake up with us on her first day with “Momma.” We can do dinner and bath with [daughter] on this first night.
Pick-up: You can pick her up at 7:00 PM on Sunday, August 15th so we can share dinner, if that works for you.
She can be in PJs for bed on transfer to you.
Travel to [other state]: We will bring her down to [town in other state], [other state] on either July 31st or August 1st via airplane.
When we are booking the flight, we will all have full flight information and I will send it to you via email.
Travel to [THIRD STATE
We will have her available for pick-up on August 15th in [third state].
She will be with me/ my family in [third state] and in [other state] for her stay.
Transportation:
flight: Attached is potential flight information. We can estimate between $300-400,+/- $100, for round trip ticket for [daughter].
All times are suggestions and may be changed to work the best for all, reasonable to visit schedule of course.
Let me know.
I will continue to search fares and will book the best rate. Will send as soon as I book.
Kind Regards,
[The Ex] [XXX].[xxx]-5236
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
To: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>; [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
Cc: [the ex email]@[The Ex’s school].edu
Sent: Tue, April 13, 2010 3:56:23 PM
Subject: Fw: Call schedule, psych info, summer request
[Custodial Dad]:
I will take [daughter] on in August, as you have scheduled.
Th.anks.
[The Ex]
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
To: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
Sent: Wed, March 10, 2010 5:49:36 PM
Subject: Call schedule, psych info, summer request
[Custodial Dad];
I understand to call at 7pm.
I understand that you will update me on her psychology session.
I will be available to participate in her psych sessions as you inform me of session schedule.
I understand that I am invited to call her guidance counselor.
You have sent the medical and dental office information but I have yet to recieve the psychologist information.
Summer 2010: I will take [daughter] this summer for the scheduled time. Please send possible dates for 15day time sharing.
[daughter] misunderstood me. She is still just 7-8 years old. These changes are sudden and big for a child. I’m sure she is just trying to sort it all out.
Appreciate the contact and hope that your family is well.
God Bless.
[The Ex]
From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>; [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[The Ex’s school].edu>
Sent: Tue, March 9, 2010 11:56:34 AM
Subject: [daughter] Update
[The Ex];
You are not replying or acknowledging my emails and I will just assume that you are reading them.
[daughter] is attending [school] Elementary and her teacher is Mrs. [teacher]. [school] was not accepting late registrants although we appealed to Dr. [teacher], the [home town] Superintendent, she could not attend [school]. Her Guidance Counselor is Mrs. [guidence counselor]. You are more than welcomed to call them.
She is doing very well. She has already made friends at school, she loves her new teacher and she is just shinning. I am very proud of the adjustment she is making thus far but we have an appointment with a therapist this evening.
She is telling the school that you are picking her up, I think you need to confirm that you will not be doing so, at least not until the summer. Its not really appropriate that you tell her these things because its simply not going to occur. I think its better to address the situation as it is instead of giving her false hopes. The guidance counselor agrees with this statement, please try to respect that.
I overheard [daughter] shouting last night about her door. She was upstairs in her room but was very loud as we all heard her. She has a door, she changes in the bathroom or with her door shut. She has privacy and knows how to make herself comfortable. I am saying this, although I have no real reason to explain it to you but so that no more false accusations are thrown by you.
I think for now we need to limit the conversations a little bit, in time NOT in frequency. [daughter] just seems very upset with the conversations. I’ll address this more with the psychologist tonight and will relay his findings. If he feels it is appropriate, I will of course include you in on the sessions, if you want to be included. For now, a short call every night and a long [webcam software] or Sunday call to [daughter]’s wishes would be better.
FYI: Bedtime is at 8PM. [daughter] typically showers at 7:30PM and so please try to call around 7PM, like I stated previously so she adjusts to the schedule appropriately. I am in no way, playing the ridiculous games that you did. I see the importance in [daughter] maintaining a relationship with you and your family. I’m contacting grandparents to let them all know [daughter]’s contact information. Please forward the information to [daughter]’s Aunt and Uncle as well.
Thank You;
[Custodial Dad] [last name]
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]
[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
<[daughter] on Jet Blue for August 2010.jpg>
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]
[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
--
[Custodial Dad]..[Step Mother]..
[sibling]..[daughter]..[sibling]..[sibling]...[sibling]...[sibling]
From: [Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Tue, July 27, 2010 12:43:57 PM
Subject: Re: PLEASE Dad and Factual responses Re: Still Unaddressed through spcs issue Part 2 Fw: Various Concerns
[The Ex],
“Please respond immediately on the pick up arrangements for [daughter] for Staturday, July 31 at 3PM.
Thanks.
[The Ex]”
I did and have responded to this... my lawyer has my response ... since YOU involved the lawyers
[Custodial Dad]
On Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 12:38 PM, [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com> wrote:
[Custodial Dad],
Now, on the most IMPORTANT topic- again- what is your response to us getting [daughter] in [home town], [home state] at 3:00PM on July 31st, 2010. Will you give her to us voluntarily? Have you decided?
Please email me immediately to prevent attorney fees on this pick up arrangement. Please do not frustrate the process of getting [daughter] to her court required time share with Mom. Please, Dad. Please, I am begging you to please respond and let’s come to an agreement for [daughter]’s wonderful summer-time in [other state].
In response to your email below,
Here are the facts:
1. You continue to claim that [daughter] X, age 8, is a liar- even to her therapist- You state that she lies about glasses and “ghost” actions. Your statements are a very unfortunate indicator, Dad.
2. You are complicating the details of my daughter’s visit with claims of a incident report that you now want NO responsibility to produce. We will deal with that in slander and liable later.
3. You contradict yourself in a web of lies and thus can’t logically get out of it. In your failure, you “term” my clear, logical questions and responses to you as me writing in an “insane” and “unhinged” manner. The sum of this is: You CANNOT give one straight statement that is verifiable and true. You present that everyone ELSE is a LIAR unless they mirror the way YOU WANT things to be viewed. That is beyond concerning.
4. Your issue with both board ceritified doctors were wrought with lies and false accusations, as they disputed. Public records. No need to elaborate. Issue which may or may not be pending are also public record.
5. You lie again- as I sent photos of me and [daughter] and her friends and special items via email. Maybe you missed that- which was also communicated to [spelled incorrectly Step Mother] in her unsettling email. Again, attempting to “case make.’
5. Fact is you both lied and presented falsified evidence under oath. This is neither the time nor forum to address that. Please save your refute for your defense- which is surely NOT in my scope. Unfortunately for you, there are no ‘do overs.” There is just the reality of moving forward from here with all your paper trail behind you. It’s filed. We can’t change the past. Please, move forward.
6. You have now again blamed others for not getting [daughter]’s glasses replaced or a new prescription altogether WHEN SHE NO LONGER HAD THEM. Fact is YOU did NOT provide for [daughter]’s vision needs to accommodate school and learning AFTER you knew she did not have her glasses to use ANY LONGER. Nor did you seek my assistance. End of point. Though superfluous, the rest is interesting: Now you state the technician was “pressured”? Fact is you have no evidence of this- if you do provide it and I will take it up with Lens Crafters corporate. Send it, [Custodial Dad]. Send a report from your “contacts” - go ahead- show me the policy that allowed an inappropriate pair of glasses to be dispensed to a child.
7. Fact is you are writing me in the middle of the day. Working at ... what’s the name of that company...H.. oh, please send your employers name, [Custodial Dad], won’t you? You avoided that question last email and I expect you will avoid it again.
8. Fact is I have asked you to not make reference to your perceptions and assumptions of my dating experience and you continue to write “your boyfriend” in your message. Please be correct with your word use- “self-deprecating” comments would mean I am doing that to myself. That is not what is happening here in reality. Just thought I’d help you express things accurately. Now this issue goes to [Ex’s fourth other state lawyer], as it is incessantly harassing, without refute. But, I’m not surprised.
10. Fact is that, like most immigrant children raised in the heart of [third state], I was immersed in and embraced a solid Catholic/ Italian/Irish & Jewish culture and just cannot understand telling a child, and us outside the court-room doors, that a Ghost left a wet spot on the bed and moved clothes. If you say this is not accurate, again you call [daughter] [last name] a liar. Sure you want to keep doing that, Dad? Did [spelled incorrectly Step Mother] lie too? What is true here?
11. Fact is [daughter] has no privacy to speak with me. She is aware she is recorded- as she states “Momma, call recording on” as she mimics your recorder’s audio statement. The rest on that topic is data supported and too much to mention. All things in due time.
12. Fact is that you fail to mention your recordings of phone conversations. Failed to provide law that justifies that it is OK. But you love to refer to “what A, B or C person said.” Plan to share? Should you be recording, Dad?
Just some simple irrefutable facts. It is NOT possible for you to defeat these points, and that is sad for you.
Now, on the most IMPORTANT topic- again- what is your response to us getting [daughter] in [home town], [home state] at 3:00PM on July 31st, 2010. Will you give her to us voluntarily? Have you decided?
Please respond immediately on the pick up arrangements for [daughter] for Staturday, July 31 at 3PM.
Thanks.
[The Ex]
From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Tue, July 27, 2010 10:48:24 AM
Subject: Re: Still Unaddressed through spcs issue Part 2 Fw: Various Concerns
[The Ex];
This is becoming insane, redundant and particularly sounding very unhinged. Your statements have me quite concerned as your are harping on the past and refusing to deal with reality...
The [last name]s, whom are your in laws, were keeping me informed of the situation and climate in [other state]. I would suggest you contact them in regards to the information they are disseminating. If there is an issue, please direct it through them. My concern was whether your boyfriend has a gun in the home that [daughter] will be staying at. That is all. As for your self-deprecating “whore” comments, it is through [daughter] and through [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] that I learned about all the fiancees and boyfriends... again try to focus on [daughter] as I have.
There are no lawsuits against me, pending or otherwise, as my claims against both “Doctors” were not only legitimately filed but I feel comfortable with the final outcome.
I made no false accusations nor did my wife or I lie on the stand, there were no lies brought by us however I chose to provide irrefutable evidence to court, which was your right to do as well. You chose not to but apparently it seems as you are looking for a “do over” which will not occur.
[Step Mother] is neither erratic nor angered in her responses to you. She has spoken to your mother and father once during a time which they called repeatedly and disrupted our household. She has asked you specifically for pictures of you for [daughter]’s room with no response, which I believe was the last communication between you two, I will not address your claims further as there is no legitimate reason to. but I will state that [Step Mother] and [daughter] have an excellent relationship... Dr. [home town therapist], again, can help you best understand that as she has taken [daughter] and sat in with [daughter] on some sessions.
As for the past, please leave it there. Dr. [Court Appointed Psychologist] addressed your ‘concerns and allegations’ and found no basis for them - neither did the judge, the mediator or the multitude of attorneys who dropped your case.
Regarding eyeglasses... [daughter] has stated that the cat took her glasses as the cat randomly takes some small items. I never told her that the cat took her glasses however, she keeps stating that including to Dr. [home town therapist]. I spoke with Lens Crafters and it was stated that a bifocal prescription should have never been given to such a young child. It was stated that the technician was “pressured” into giving her the glasses. I did address this through [webcam software] as your inquiry was initially there. I will have our eye doctor re-evaluate her eyes before the school.
I understand the Haitian/Jamaican/Trinidadian/Guyanese cultures believe in “spirits” as you phrased it... however being that no adult here is of that decent, I am unsure why you would mention such things. I am unsure how to address the rest of your claims since it just seems silly and trivial.
The correction and family meeting was no “summit.” We have family meetings once a week where EVERYONE’S thoughts are heard. The issue of no tv and wii until calls were done was succinctly handled, I think it was a one sentence “correction” which has been followed through on by [daughter]. She is completely understood devoting her time solely to you. And my statement was I am TYPICALLY not around however, some nights I am, some nights I am not, simple fact of life. I try to provide her with privacy to speak with you, that is all.
Fact is [daughter] is here, she will remain here and she will have a loving relationship with you. [daughter] is happy and comfortable, we will do our best to keep it that way.
[Custodial Dad]
On Jul 27, 2010, at 8:58 AM, [The Ex] [last name] wrote:
unh
Hi, Dad.
Please see the second part of my responses to the email you sent me written in below. Read. Comment and let’s make progress, please.
G. Your Dating Status:
I really do not care whom you date however, I think I would be remiss to remind you that you are already married and I don’t understand your statements of a new marriage . [daughter] had a very hard time adjusting to the sudden appearance and disappearance of [The Ex’s Current Husband]... I think you would do better to focus on [daughter] and the transients in and out of [daughter]’s life. having so many fiances and boyfriends is simply unhealthy for a little girl to witness and troubling to hear her recount the list of men that she grew attached to over the years. However, my concern was the firearm instance between your boyfriend and husband, which was documented with your local authorities and you have failed to address seriously.
Pardon my literary reference in this context, but I need to address this “whore making” of me in which you always engage. It is awfully distressing and disrespectful and I beg you to stop. The reference below is from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary. Specifically I refer you to the second part of the first definition as your attempts to frame me in this image of being “immoral and promiscuous” most closely matched this definition as pasted below.
Main Entry: 1whore
Pronunciation: \?ho?r, ?hu?r\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English hore, from Old English h?re; akin to Old Norse h?ra whore, h?rr adulterer, Latin carusdear — more at charity
Date: before 12th century
1 : a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : prostitute; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman
2 : a male who engages in sexual acts for money
3 : a venal or unscrupulous person
Surely, you will disregard my request to refrain from this behavior, as you have always disregarded my pleas to not talk to me in this insulting way. I anticipate that you, undoubtedly, will find a way to entwine your accusations with issues of our daughter, as it appears from your behavior and messages through the years that you are unable to cease this form of abuse. It is degrading and destructive to constantly tell me and accuse me of romantic/sexual escapades with “multitudes of men” in and out of my door. This is what you have done historically. It is what you are doing now with the emails you send me. There is a character and term for this conduct, but I will leave that for an expert to state. Cease this abusive angle. And please stop trying to couple your disturbing comments with issues of our child’s safety.
I am clearly seeing that you contradict yourself in constantly claiming no interest in my assumed romantic life while you continue to address my dating- or lack of -and infusing your suspicions and accusations. Frankly, this feels very harassing as it always has since I was dating you... from your restriction of my college friends for coffee at home with our parents -to accusing me of multiple boyfriends as the reason I left our marriage, to the accusations of wanting “freedom to do what I want” (in your statements to me and in your angry call to my father in February of 2005), and when I left your documented abuse to come to [other state], then your continued yelling at me on phone calls (8/13/2005 as ONE of the events) to you – calls that were made for [daughter] and you-about your anger at me for the “boyfriends” you accused me of having, and then- consistent with the theme of many like you- to today’s message of your caution to me about focusing on our daughter instead of men-
Can you see that this needs to stop, [Custodial Dad]?
Let the logic help you to improve your communication and treatment of me. Rationally, think it through, [Custodial Dad]. Look at the product of my time and energy which is our top-of-the-class, honor student, best behaved, well socially adjusted, daughter with full faith in God and angles, with strength of person and spirit to withstand all of the chaos you brought to her door with false accusation in a custody suit. I have raised a beautiful and bright little person and I have gotten my RN with success, as I promised I would accomplish an improved situation for [daughter]’s sake. It is self-evident that my time and my life is and always been my daughter’s to have. With all the therapy you have her in and interaction you claim with her teachers, did you miss the obvious fact that a tremendous amount of parenting time and efforts have gone into cultivating such a wonderful person like [daughter]? Did it occur to you that I, her mother, was completely responsible for the primary tasks that contributed to [daughter]’s person? You NEVER have to thank me, just do not disrespect what I have dedicated to [daughter]’s development. Even her love of you comes from me teaching her to love you. Think for one moment – if you can be honest with yourself-please, think about what she has seen of your behavior when she was around you. I told her that you were a great Dad who then became a legendary Dad in her heart with my stories of how you ate chocolate cake with her and got hot chocolate for her at Shawnee and put up a christmas tree at the house- I tried for years to revise her negative memories of you and replace them with positive ones- memories you created with your actions. I tried to explain that you would visit when you could get off of work, even though I knew you were not working and never accepted my invites to visit her. So let’s be grateful for my parenting and cease the self-serving criticisms of me. It is unwarranted, to say the least.
[daughter]’s safety:
I ask that you keep your communication with me to the company [daughter] will be in when she is with me. She is safe and as I have stated, contrary to all you claims, I have no company with Armed Men or Laser Shooting Aliens or Fire Breathing Dragons. There is no gun violence in my life nor has there ever been and I have no reason to expect that to change- ever. If you have a police report to share, send it. And please be prepared for court for any and all accusations you choose to make with the company of [The Ex’s Current Husband] and [The Ex's current In-laws] [last name], because we will not leave such claims to rest. It is a fact that we will defend and file every charge available to us against all and any of you, as acting separately and coordinating together in efforts to slander, false accusations etc.(Like you falsely accused both Dr’s Lemoine and Dr. [doctor] here in [other state]. Are those lawsuits against you still pending? I’m interested to know.) And after we hold criminal proceedings against you all for this behavior, then file so you will pay ALL attorney fees for wasting our financial resources earned for [daughter]. So let’s move forward – prepared. Send it. I’m ready. You are harassing me with this topic. Interestingly, in fact, the only time we had to report any incident was an attempt to pick our front door lock at the Gateway condo AFTER I disclosed the address to you and [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] in court. That was the only incidence of concern to me. Was it merely coincidence, [Custodial Dad]? I do hope so. You mention “witnesses” at the Gateway condo who are tracking my movement at there to such an extent that you are caliming certainty that I do not live there? Are you having me watched? What is this about? Your “priviate eye” comments are of concern. Please explain.
F. Phone Calls:
[daughter] is not to be doing anything except speak to you. At 7PM [daughter] and her older sibling are supposed to call and speak to their respective parents BEFORE tv and wii time. This time should also be AFTER chores are done. We will have a family meeting to discuss this as I am typically starting bedtime routines with the younger kids which affords both kids privacy. We may simply need to rework the schedule a bit to ensure you are given [daughter]’s undivided attention.
Please, Dad. No need for a Summit
I would like to bring your attention to the fact that you have been in the same room as you have talked with [daughter] in our call time(redirecting her conversation with me), and I can hear you talking to others and I hear other adult voices talking to children when you are at home on call time. So let’s always remember the role we play in keeping our children on task. We are responsible to set the environment for their proper actions. Look within, Dad. It is given that a child will need time and room to improve. [daughter] did nothing wrong according to her circumstances. Please do not reprimand her. I have no complaints about her attention or interest in her call to me. It is all appropriate for her age and her transitions. Let’s be clear on that, again- as I have stated that in previous email when you said you’d “correct her.”
I would take a look at the time at which you place calls and do [webcam software] as there may be something you could about keeping the times consistent to help [daughter] know what to expect. Take a look at the call log. Please let me know, but [daughter] is not to be blamed, I’m sure. There is always something parents can do to make children more comfortable and ease the child’s compliance with their responsibilities at such a young age. There is a book titled “Redirecting Children’s Behavior” that speaks of the parents’ seeing things from a child’s perspective and I have thought it to be very illuminating.
G. [webcam software]:
[webcam software] isn’t always feasible but I can guarantee, at the very least, an every Sunday [webcam software] going forward, which I have proposed for the last few months. If we are able, I will be sure to text and notify as early as possible on alternate days. [daughter] is very excited to see you on [webcam software] this evening!
I’m glad for [daughter] to enjoy [webcam software] with me. Thanks for being open to Skyping other days also. But words mean nothing if there is no follow-through, right? Let’s put our intentions into action. Can you choose one more day and set that for us to move to increase our [webcam software] time with defined commitment? How about Friday since there is no school the next day? We can even do it at different times on different days as arranged by weekly communication via email based on work schedules, etc.
H. “[daughter]’s Attorney:”
I am unsure what you are implying by telling [daughter] she has an attorney. Obviously, she does not have her own attorney and you lack any authority in which to secure her any such counsel. If the courts deem it necessary, the court would hire an attorney for her specifically without your undue influences. This is the type of communication that you have with [daughter] that is neither appropriate nor advisable. This will be addressed with Dr. [home town therapist] however, it was also brought to your attorney’s attention.
Are you taping the calls? What law can you reference that allows for your call recordings? Please share the recording of me telling [daughter] that. Actually, any and all taping of [daughter]’s calls with me are to be sent to me or my attorney via electronic form or any audio record you have available to you, as previously requested. If you want o refer to my statements, provide me with the statements in audio. That’s data I can work with. Everything else from you is “case making.” When you supply the audio, I’ll be happy to address any and all claims. Additionally, please provide all of the messages/ voicemails and recordings of my parents demonstrating the behaviors you claim and we will address all of it in one clear and leagally admissible email, filing, etc. Because, Dad, false accusations are not advised by the law. With all your legal knowledge you impart to me, that did NOT escape you, did it? Kindly, let me know your thoughts and your commitment to share your recordings. You seem to think you can get away with accusing and slandering anyone and everyone to promote your own agenda- whatever that might be.
I. My wife:
You completely missed the purpose of her letter. She asked you to refrain from contacting her through her personal email address. She still has access to the family email address ([Custodial Dad’s home email]) as you are well aware. This is a far cry from what you interpreted her email to mean as she has contacted you concerning [daughter] several times since [daughter] moved home.
It is no mis-interpretation. Your wife has threatened to contact my email host when she initially emailed me- I don’t know how to FIND anyone’s email on the internet- I’m not that modern. She has threatened my mother to block her calls when Granny called to talk to you, Dad, to arrange for [daughter] to go to her cousin’s third birthday in [THIRD STATE]. She has stated to my father that he is not to call your home when he was supposedly invited to call his grand-daughter. Your wife is making it very clear that she is not going to facilitate a cooperative relationship as a step-mother. Neither in action nor in words – with me or my parents. It is sad and unkind. We are disappointed and hope this attitude does not extend to [daughter]- certainly no accusations, just a hope for different and positive treatment of [daughter]. I cannot trust [spelled incorrectly Step Mother] as she lied on the stand in court (as you did)- Please note, I can prove my claims of your dishonesty so limit the emails I anticipate on the topic please. I cannot write her in emails as she is alarmingly unpredictable in her angered responses. It is unsettling and a big red flag to us. So, I will respect your wife’s request and only communicate with you as [daughter]’s biological father. If your wife would like to communicate with me, please invite her to send me the address to which she would like me to write her and specifically state the topics she would like to share. I’d be glad to work with her when she is ready and when she is prepared to set the guidelines for our communication. We are frightened of her outbursts, angry tone and erratic, hostile behaviors. I wish there were better words to help you understand what we have experienced, but sadly this is the mildest description. I hope for better for [daughter]’s experience.
J. Text Messages:
I keep mentioning this but I am not getting your text messages. Last one was received on June 21. I’m getting other texts so I know my phone is working properly... please ensure you have the correct number or that your texts are actually sent.
You have given us three numbers to reach [daughter], all of which either go to voicemail or are disconnected, as has occurred, or that are answered by your wife who yells at us if she does not deny an option to speak with [daughter]- or you, as in Granny’s experience. It is a wonder you get any texts. But I’m glad you are now able to afford/ use/ access your text messages.
It is interesting to get your message written above: Why would you think it is again someone else’s fault if you are not getting texts? I have observed that you have always selected what parts of emails or letters or court orders you choose to recognize or if you chose to recognize them at all. Why is that? I have the texts I’ve sent. You keep the ones you have. When necessary, we will manage what is unaddressed communication, if any. I am sure you manage your texts to ensure I can communicate with my child and about setting up contact, visits etc. for [daughter] with me and my family. I am sure I have my phone records and very reliable phone service.
Oh, this is your last point. I see, as nothing follows but your e-signature. As I stated above, you are selective in your topics, or perhaps you forgot to mention [daughter]’s glasses or the lack of Naimh having her glasses. So let me ask, Dad. Where are the pair of reading and distance prescription glasses [daughter] had on her transport to [home state] in March 2010? She reports having them until the forth week or so of being in your care. How did you not replace the glasses she needed for school? How did you not mention that to me? Why disregard her vision- she is a young student and we made sure she was seen by an eye doctor and received the proper glasses for her needs to preserve her vision and make her learning comfortable. I sent you the information in email about her account at Lens Crafters, a nationally accessible eyeglass store with computerized records. Why not mention the lost glasses? Why tell [daughter] that the cat took them off her night stand and put them in the basement? What kind of explaination is that for glasses that she not only loved for the specific blue frame, but needed? How did you explain that she would do without her glasses for the classroom and her school work because they were in the basement? How would you like to resolve this? Dad, the glasses I purchased need to be replaced- and the child is clear that they were placed on her night stand the night before they were missing. I am perplexed that she went to school for THREE MONTHS without her glasses. Why not tell me? How is this ok? Will you claim that her account is unreliable? Will you claim you did not get the email on Lens Crafters?
The issue of GOHST and PARANORMAL activity in your home:
I never thought I would ever have to write on this topic to anyone, ever. But I must try and understand what has been presented to us since November 2009. [spelled incorrectly Step Mother] stated that you have a ghost in your house and [daughter] confirms the same. [spelled incorrectly Step Mother] specifically stated that the ghost leaves a wet spot on the bed at night. What is this about? What else does the Ghost do? Why is our daughter being told this type of stuff? [daughter] mentioned to me in March that the GHOST moved her pile of clothes in her room. I know she did not learn that here, as we taught her a christian world view filled with Angels and good in the world. So I am concerned and interested in what you tell her about this active Ghost and deliberate cat activity (if the two are even related) as I am unclear how she is experiencing paranormal activity in your home. I understand that the Hatitian and Jamacian cultures believe in “spirits” differently than my daughter has understood in the past. I just want to know what I can do to respect your teaching of paranormal activity when [daughter] mentions these types of things to us. Please share and educate me on how I can be more culturally sensitive to this very unfamiliar topic. I appreciate it.
Please respond as I could not be more specific to your email.
I think it would be useful to communicate clearly on [daughter]’s needs and I want you to know that I am here to help make her life comfortable, no matter where she lives.
I understand that you are trying to parent many children –six children, but I am here as a resource to help with [daughter] specifically so please let me know what she needs, when she needs it and I will provide to the best of what I am able to do and I will ask her maternal grandparents to help me with what she needs if it exceeds my means.
I will always try to understand your decisions and will support your actions for [daughter]’s health and education, etc. So please do not conceal information on glasses or school or anything else that I can help facilitate for [daughter]’s enjoyment and comfort.
I hope this format is helpful to address specific topics. It is your email “blitz” to me that I titled the document on my photographed screen to which you and your attorney made mention. I have not the time nor interest to be inefficient in communicating with you.
Also, please communicate honestly to your attorney, as we will obviously have to file against your claims each time you are dishonest and that is expensive as I try to provide for [daughter].
Fewer and pertinent emails are great. I appreciate a move in that direction.- Thanks. -[The Ex]
[Custodial Dad]
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]
[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
To: [Custodial dad email]@[email].com; [Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
Sent: Tue, July 27, 2010 12:16:14 AM
Subject: Still Unaddressed through sibling issue Po Fw: Various Concerns
Hi, Dad.
See below for my responses, please.
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: [Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name] <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com>
To: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
Sent: Sun, July 18, 2010 6:20:13 PM
Subject: Various Concerns
[The Ex]:
I am doing my best to answer your questions but please note the redundancy in most of your issues and statements. I have reviewed past communications and found all the answers to your questions contained in the various emails and letters.
A. [daughter] Enrolled in School:
I think you can answer that question yourself being as though you have copies of her report cards and I assume have spoken to her teacher. She was a transfer student and the official package was obtained from [school] Charter to [home town] directly, which I assume is the reason I was not asked for any documents beyond my address verification and identification. However, I still lack [daughter]’s accurate social security number.
I know she was enrolled at [school] for the remainder fo second grade. I asked if you had her enrolled for 2010- 2011 for third grade since [home town] district NEEDS documents you deny having. Is [daughter] enrolled in school for third grade? How were you able to do so wihout the required documents?
B. [daughter]’s Diet and Records Request:
I will not be subjecting [daughter] to unnecessary blood work and/or tests. The grounds for your request are not based on anything factual nor measurable and despite my reassurances to you, you fail to pay attention to fact—all of my children, including [daughter] are on a healthy diet and followed by the pediatrician who is not only aware of the diet we have them on but has evaluated our diet for different reasons. According to [daughter], this is the healthiest she has eaten ever, outside of your father feeding her when she resided with him. Outside of not eating hard candies, popcorn, bubble gum and taffy, [daughter] has not had any adjustment to her palate extender, which is not an implant. And for the record, [daughter] is growing taller and although she is visibly slimmer it is due to the fact that fast food and junk food is not apart of our diet... those are treats not meals unlike her diet while she was in your care.
No criticism to [daughter]’s dietary changes. Think it is a great option. Just wanted to have medical data to evaluate how she is doing. A simple height and weight graph is all sometimes needed. A blood test can be helpful. A nutrition assessment by journal or child’s report is more helpful. That’s all. No defense needed. Unless you are now also a medical professional, I cannot accept your evaluation and “assurances” as nutrition is not an unqualified opinion based topic.
I have no information from [daughter]’s medical providers as there are no court issues that are coming up. Beyond receipts, I have no session notes or progress reports. I have no idea why I would need such information so I would suggest you contact the providers directly. You are treating this like this is a custody case, which it isn’t, the time for evidence has passed and you’d save yourself a ton of legal fees if you were to understand that simple fact.
Are you saying you have no access to medical, dental or psych files for [daughter]? I understand that you do and I am asking you to please give me your copies of her files. I would appreciate the receipts you mention so I can calculate her child support please. So questions were: Can you please send me copies of [daughter]’s medical, dental and psych files? Can I have copies of the receipts/ bills you mention?
C. Transportation to [city third state]:
We have already agreed that I will pick [daughter] up on the 15th from the airport. However the dispute lies in pick up as you are laying the full burden of transport on me. Your mother can arrange to pick [daughter] up EARLIER on August 1st. My proposal for a 6 am pick up was merely a suggestion. As [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] mentioned to your attorney, we are both obligated to take responsibility for [daughter]’s transportation and you are failing to do so.
I received your suggestions of either
a. 6AM pick up on August 1st or
b. night before pick up with return on August 14th.
changing the return date seemed fine with you.
Sadly, Dad, either option you so strictly offer is indicative of “frustrating visitation” as they fail both a cost feasibility analysis and a time distance analysis performed by any parent who is just trying to get a child to the airport on time for a flight out, with respect for the time the child has been ensured with the parent.
Kindly, let me explain through these simple facts, Dad.
Here is your suggestion in clear mathematical terms:
Option a: Pick child up at 6am from your home in [home town], [home state]. Clearly you made an impossible option which fails miserably at your responsibility to [daughter] to get her to her Mom. I have paid the fare and my attorney to handle your refusal to work with me to set up this visit. I was sorely disappointed to see you offer a 6AM pick up so unyieldingly. Do you know what would happen if we picked up at 6AM? We would miss the flight out at [city third state] on sheer mathematics. Here’s how:
Time & Distance Analysis for Practicality Assessment:
Data source is MapQuest- see attachments please.
a.)Distance from Dad’s to Granny’s is 73.76 miles one way at 1hr, 27mins.
b.)Distance from Dad’s to [city third state] Airport is 72.33 miles one way at 1hr, 20 minutes.
c.)Distance from Granny’s to [city third state] Airport is 8.71 miles one way at 16 minutes.
According to [city third state] Airport requirements, child must be at airport for boarding 2 hours before flight time which is 9:14 AM. [Ex’s fourth other state lawyer] sent that info last time with attachments to [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]. Pick up from Dad’s at 6 AM puts child at airport at 7:20 AM in theory- after required boarding time - we are actually already late for flight. But, let’s continue -to promote shared understanding. Shuttle wait time- from parking to airport doors is 12-15 minutes, not including shuttle travel time which is variable, but more than zero minutes. So that is minimally at 7:32AM, child would be at airport doors. Distance to gate and time for transport of child is undetermined, but more than zero units. So we have missed the opportunity to board and the flight is gone. Six AM offer of pick up fails as a viable option to successfully board flight, even in theory. Practically, with transition times in and out of cars and shuttle and management of luggage, maybe bathroom use for child- it is a gross failure in time allotment.
I am perplexed, Dad. so please explain to me how you claim justification of SIX AM as viable with REAL data about how your proposal/ suggestion works for [daughter] to get her time with her mother? The refusal to come up with a reasonable plan is already costing attorney fees.
Where have you even given cursory consideration to [daughter]’s comfort and ease of travel? Early 6AM wake-up vs a night at Granny’s in a waterfront home with full security within [community]’s gates?
With all your reference to the court order, how did you miss that you only agreed to LESS than the COURT ordered minimum time in April? [daughter] was given 15 days with Mom. Six AM on August 1st with return on August 15 at 3PM to you at gate only gives her- technically- 14 days and 9 hours-as you insist on strict numbers. That is mathematically less than 15 days- she is 15 hours short of shared time, Dad, with your offer. That not only puts you into lack of compliance, but that steals MINIMUM time she has been ordered with Mom. Why? Why be difficult about an earlier pick up the night before, Saturday evening with return on August 15th, as she exits the aircraft according to Jet Blue’s schedule? Why not work with us?
We have paid up-front, as always bearing ALL costs to facilitate what you are partially responsible for, by order. We could have asked for the funds to be given to me before I booked the flight, but I did not. I could have asked for you to book since you have [daughter] there with you. I did not ask you to pay. Rather, I took the financial and parental responsibility of booking flights and getting [daughter] accompanied by my mother to save costs and provide for her comfort- with a non-stop ticket. Do you understand that I have done everything to make this trip possible from my position? Can you see where you could have taken the responsibility to get [daughter] to me and I could have had to repay you for your up-front costs? You have been very used to having me and my family pay for EVERYTHING then claiming “victim”, presenting yourself as “faultless” and “not responsible” for your share of responsibility to [daughter], however you want your well presented “rights as a father” to be ensured by all of us in the world.
The free ride is over. You are responsible for 50% of [daughter]’s travel, including taxes. You are responsible for 50% of the effort to comply with the court ordered 15 days she is to have with her Mom. Does that make sense to you? Does it seem fair? Is it consistent with the order? Please correct me if I am wrong. I would appreciate you kindly setting me on the correct rules if I am wrong.
Furthermore, on the issue of refusing to facilitate this visit with Mom, why not provide one or two outfits for [daughter] to wear when she arrives? You have refused to send her with things to wear. You have refused to send her shoes to wear. I will have to provide those things in full since it has been four months and you say she is taller and thinner- and I will gladly do so with AGAIN increased expenses because you refuse to cooperate for [daughter]’s comfort. Why the lack of cooperation?
You have utilized my purchases, specifically, [daughter]’s jacket and sneakers which she used EXCLUSIVELY for school as you did not replace those items for her with more appropriate gear for [home state]’s cold vs. the [other state] cool spell they were purchased to accommodate. Yet, you explicitly emailed your refusal to send her with things to wear- it would cost you nothing- she is allowed a carry-on. Why the consistent lack of cooperation, Dad? Why cost me more than is necessary for this trip? I sent in excess of underwear, sleep and day clothes with swim suit and various shoes for [daughter]’s trip to you last summer- even a blanket and sleeping bag and gifts for all of you- to such an extent THAT YOU KEPT HER THINGS and had them there for her when you removed her to live with you. Why withhold her clothes and shoes she could use on her trip here? You can itemize them and I can send them ALL back. Please, work with us, Dad. I’m begging you again.
So now, let’s defeat the cost claims:
The claim you made of unfair cost burden to you, which was restated by your attorney, is defeated terribly with simple math, again. Furthermore, you lie if you claim, as per attorney, that we required you to travel the full distance- I clearly offered to have Granny meet you HALF WAY. I did, on the contrary, offer GRAN[other state] to travel the FULL distance, without ANY travel for you. Nonetheless, let’s look at these cost claims with an evidentiary approach. You will again find all attachments to support my numbers to the thousandths place value.
Cost Analysis for Fairness Assessment:
a.)Distance from Dad’s to Granny’s is 73.76 miles one way at 1hr, 27mins.
b.)Distance from Dad’s to [city third state] Airport is 72.33 miles one way at 1hr, 20 minutes.
c.)Distance from Granny’s to [city third state] Airport is 8.71 miles one way at 16 minutes.
d.) Dad drives a 2008 Ford van, max of 8 cylinders. The miles per gallon calculation is between 15-19 mpg, manufacture calculations. We will use 15 mpg, the minimum millage per gallon. At 73.76 miles between both houses, with 15mpg(minimum) for a 2008 Ford, 8 cylinder van, Dad would use 4.917333 gallons of gas. Calculated at highest price for gas, $2.81/ gallon is a cost of $13.8177 (less than $14 to Granny’s) one way for a total return trip of $27.6354 (less than $28 for Full trip from and back to [home state]). Total trip cost for Dad to [city third state] Airport is 72.33 miles, at $2.81per gallon, with 15 mpg in the 8 cylinder vehicle, is thus 4.[xxx] gallons, which is $13.54 one way and thus round trip for Dad to and from [city third state] airport is $27.08. Let’s add toll of one dollar (DWG toll bridge is 75 cents for automobile- five dollars for 2-axle truck), which is an over-calculation- the return trip for Dad to Granny’s would be $28 plus $1 which totals to $29, an over calculation.
e.) Dad and Attorney claim that Granny would be paying far less for parking at the airport as she helps to facilitate [daughter]’s visit. [city third state] airport charges $24 per day for parking, which totals to $336 for parking ONLY. Nothing has been assessed for her plane fare or her taxi fare or her gas mileage to HELP out OF KINDNESS, not requirement, for her grandchild’s comfort. We as parents are required, and are grossly in error if we can compare merely her parking fees of $336 dollars to the maximum $29 dollars Dad would spend for drop off to Granny’s home as unfair to Dad.
Did I calculate wrong? Or is it true that Granny’s parking fees would be in EXCESS of TEN TIMES the cost for Dad to drop [daughter] off to either the airport or to Granny’s home? Please, kindly send your corrections.
b.) For your second “reasonable offer” you have proposed that I return [daughter] one day early if she is picked up on Saturday evening. That logically requests that I change the flight, which requires yet MORE up-front costs to Mom, while I have not even seen a dollar of the previously owed fares for the original booking in early July 2010. In fact, I see in this email the makings of an EXCUSE NOT to pay without the UNDEFINED “OFFICIAL receipt”- Please clarify that definition, Dad. In the meantime...l let’s move on for better understanding.
Here is how you have financially strained this process of shared time FURTHER:
Jet Blue specifics for flight change per July 26th inquiry:
flight for August 2nd 2010 is $153.00. Old ticket $137.00. At $100 flight change and difference of $16 increase for ticket, this is $116 total change for [daughter]’s ticket. My mother will also pay $116 to change her ticket and absorb that cost. Dad and Mom will share and additional $58 each.
For the record, if you involve my attorney, I will let him handle the situation instead of having cross discussions, such as this, confusing the matter further.
Your refusal to work with me at minimum to no costs required me using an attorney. You threatened to refuse my time share this summer. You refused any options to get [daughter] to the airport so she could board that flight. You are initiating a refusal to pay your portion of the air fare. You have accused my family of unkind communication with you. You have “intercepted” Grand-Dad’s email to his grandchild in which he expresses his hopes to see her- after years of seeing her all the time. My parents have been told that their calls will be blocked. Grand-dad has been told explicitly NOT to call his grandchild. You send false accounts of all of these events and other events repeatedly, which I am sure to receive again after this message.
Of course I have an attorney.
I have seen your actions repeatedly and historically in disregard of [daughter]’s bond with me as her Mom. It started days after birth and continues now. I’m not surprised, Dad. I am aware and will take whatever the courts will give me to have a relationship with our daughter. I will be grateful for any time and I will respect our daughter’s desire to have time with Mom, also.
Please refrain from blaming others on ALL FRONTS- even your hire of an attorney. In fact, you only need an attorney because YOU REFUSE to comply with simple, detailed court requirement- calls or time share, and on and on. By golly, if you could just follow Judge [Other State Judge]’s order, you would not need [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] right now. Please refrain from AGAIN setting the stage for making me responsible for your attorney fees- your tactics are glaring and sad.
For your comfort, [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] is a respectable, very competent attorney, limited only by your reckless dishonesty. [Ex’s fourth other state lawyer] and I are glad to work with Attorney [last name].
Dad, you can hire anyone you want or you can choose to work with me when I send you emails begging you to not increase my costs BEFORE I even contact [Ex’s fourth other state lawyer] for his help as I try to get time as ordered with Naimh.
You have the FULL authority to give more time and you are choosing to curb EVEN the MINIMUM court ordered time. It is a sad day, Dad.
Monies for [daughter]’s flight will be promptly paid upon my receiving an actual receipt for her ticket. I received flight confirmation only.
I sent the official receipt to you via email attachment- to two of your email addresses. Do you think Jet Blue site is fraudulent when it issues the payment online? Please pay without excuses, [Custodial Dad]. If you don’t have the money, just say so. Please, don’t put the responsibility for your share of the court ordered half on “lack of an official receipt.”
D. Child Support:
I think you are not following the language of the order... Child Support was remanded to Judge [Other State Judge] meaning, he will decide how much; how often and when. My financials will be provided then or you can provide yours, when you obtain employment, to [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]. Your requests are obscure considering it took six requests to have [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] obtain your financials and mine have been filed with two of your attorneys previously.
Actually, I understand that I am responsible for paying child support to you for [daughter]’s care from March 3rd onward. To determine the amounts, i understand that I need to know your financial information and mine and my employment status is not a determining factor, as parents are REQUIRED to have the MINIMUM paid to child support, even though they are not working- so I am prepared to pay from March 3rd which is why you have received the $25 dollars in check from the B&T bank which I sent towards whatever the amounts will be for the previous months, excluding June and July. This difference in our understanding of the support requirements may explain why the bank records show that you have NOT cashed these checks YET, but now maybe you can just go ahead and cash them all. By the end of this week you would have $125 dollars in checks from me- If August’s payment is included this week, I would have sent $150 in total- so go ahead and use it as it is [daughter]’s right to have it and more is to come from my efforts to set up payments for her immediately. Maybe you can get us your records now if you are able to understand my objectives better through this communication. I don’t think [Ex’s fourth other state lawyer] would have acted against the law by trying to work with you and me to set up my support payments to [daughter]. Are you thinking or advised that the court would have to initiate a child support order? Are you waiting for that action? Please correct me, but I think it is my/ our responsibility to initiate that our daughter is receiving what is owed to her financially - by law. So let’s just send our paper work to each other and set it up, Dad. [Ex’s fourth other state lawyer] and [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] can surely help us and the court will surely assign the maximum and beyond as they see fit. My attorney’s office will help us set up the required documents, so I guarantee there is no obscurity as we proceed. Can you agree to work with me to reduce court costs and attorney fees? As it stands, I requested financial documents of you, which many in our position verify on the public internet sites by the child support enforcement departments, etc. and then parents fill out a worksheet and determine the amounts to be paid. All I have are your refusals to send your information to us. Want to have me send you the site or did you go on already?
Direct Deposit is not necessary, if you send any monies, I will be sure to note the amount to my attorney when the time comes.
I have sent checks and [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] made no mention of them. My bank has no record of you cashing them. That is why I am asking for direct deposit, so there is no need for either of us to await payment or payment receipt verification. Please reconsider allowing for direct deposit. Do you not have a bank account? Let me know- we’ll help you. We can maybe set one up so you can use the child support funds as I pay them.
E. Medical Card:
You were provided a card and a means to contact [insurance company]. Being that you do not have authorization to take [daughter] to the doctor unless it is an emergency. You really do not need yet another replacement card. You can simply have the medical center send me a bill and i will forward it to my insurance company, There is no concealing information, the information is right in front of you and has been for several years.
In fact, you have inconsistent coverage of [daughter] which was never utilized by us, since your work history and attempts as securing medical coverage have been sadly unreliable. I have all the records directly from each insurance company since you lost coverage from Atena in 2003, then repeated that cycle in years to come, contrary to your presentations in court. I have spoken with the insurance companies’ representatives. I followed your insistence that I use your medical cards for [daughter], but I could not rely on them for the aforementioned reasons, unfortunately. I understand that you are not covered by the insurer you presented me with last year. I understand that the employing business you claim a position with does NOT cover Naimh’s or YOUR medical, to say the least, Dad. Is that the [insurance company] card to which you refer? What is your employer again...maybe I’m mis-informed? Please kindly correct my mis-understandings. Actually, I can NOT take Naimh to the doctor and would NOT, as my rights are so minimal already. That is what makes me so curious why you won’t just give me the current insurance information for [daughter], as I need to determine how to supplement or pay for all of her insurance needs as part of child support. Why else would I ask you for her insurance information, when I clearly asked for it when I asked for your documents to calculate child support? Why not share, Dad? Can you please let me know what her coverage percentages are and co-pays are and I will make our coverage of [daughter] more cost effective for both of us, as I should have hospital rates on insurance, PLEASE let me pay my part?
F. [daughter]’s new sibling:
We have handled her adjustment just fine and honestly your input is neither warranted nor necessary. I will remind you that [daughter] is under the care of Dr. [home town therapist] who has specialized in similar cases such as this, who has guided us since [daughter]’s arrival.
I offered anything you deemed appropriate to help [daughter] enjoy her new sibling, Number 5- that’s all. Am I correct in understanding that you do not see any role for me in [daughter]’s adjustment to this change of an additional sibbling? Do you think it is best for me to ignore this aspect of her life, or would you accept my offer to share a book with our daughter that you approve for her age group to help her adjust?
Did Dr. [home town therapist] suggest that I not talk about anything regarding [daughter]’s newborn sibling also?
I will respect your decision, so please help me understand.
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]
[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
--
[Custodial Dad] X [last name]
[XXX]-[xxx]-0185
~ “Actions are the seed of fate deeds grow into destiny.” Harry S Truman ~
--
[Custodial Dad] X [last name]
[XXX]-[xxx]-0185
~ “Actions are the seed of fate deeds grow into destiny.” Harry S Truman ~
[last name] & [last name]s <[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com> Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 7:38 PM
To: [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]@[email].com
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>
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I have sent checks and [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] made no mention of them. My bank has no record of you cashing them. That is why I am asking for direct deposit, so there is no need for either of us to await payment or payment receipt verification. Please reconsider allowing for direct deposit. Do you not have a bank account? Let me know- we’ll help you. We can maybe set one up so you can use the child support funds as I pay them.
E. Medical Card:
You were provided a card and a means to contact [insurance company]. Being that you do not have authorization to take [daughter] to the doctor unless it is an emergency. You really do not need yet another replacement card. You can simply have the medical center send me a bill and i will forward it to my insurance company, There is no concealing information, the information is right in front of you and has been for several years.
In fact, you have inconsistent coverage of [daughter] which was never utilized by us, since your work history and attempts as securing medical coverage have been sadly unreliable. I have all the records directly from each insurance company since you lost coverage from Atena in 2003, then repeated that cycle in years to come, contrary to your presentations in court. I have spoken with the insurance companies’ representatives. I followed your insistence that I use your medical cards for [daughter], but I could not rely on them for the aforementioned reasons, unfortunately. I understand that you are not covered by the insurer you presented me with last year. I understand that the employing business you claim a position with does NOT cover Naimh’s or YOUR medical, to say the least, Dad. Is that the [insurance company] card to which you refer? What is your employer again...maybe I’m mis-informed? Please kindly correct my mis-understandings. Actually, I can NOT take Naimh to the doctor and would NOT, as my rights are so minimal already. That is what makes me so curious why you won’t just give me the current insurance information for [daughter], as I need to determine how to supplement or pay for all of her insurance needs as part of child support. Why else would I ask you for her insurance information, when I clearly asked for it when I asked for your documents to calculate child support? Why not share, Dad? Can you please let me know what her coverage percentages are and co-pays are and I will make our coverage of [daughter] more cost effective for both of us, as I should have hospital rates on insurance, PLEASE let me pay my part?
F. [daughter]’s new sibling:
We have handled her adjustment just fine and honestly your input is neither warranted nor necessary. I will remind you that [daughter] is under the care of Dr. [home town therapist] who has specialized in similar cases such as this, who has guided us since [daughter]’s arrival.
I offered anything you deemed appropriate to help [daughter] enjoy her new sibling, Number 5- that’s all. Am I correct in understanding that you do not see any role for me in [daughter]’s adjustment to this change of an additional sibbling? Do you think it is best for me to ignore this aspect of her life, or would you accept my offer to share a book with our daughter that you approve for her age group to help her adjust?
Did Dr. [home town therapist] suggest that I not talk about anything regarding [daughter]’s newborn sibling also?
I will respect your decision, so please help me understand.
[Custodial Dad] and [Step Mother] [last name]
[Custodial Dad’s home email]@[email].com
--
[Custodial Dad] X [last name]
[XXX]-[xxx]-0185
~ “Actions are the seed of fate deeds grow into destiny.” Harry S Truman ~
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