[The Ex]’s Clarifications Re: the package

[The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com> 

Mon, Nov 17, 2008 at 12:44 PM 

To:   [Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial dad email]@[email].com>

Cc:   “[Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]” <[Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]@[Custodial Dad's Law Firm]> 

     

Hi, [Custodial Dad].

FYI: This email is to serve as clarification, NOT confrontation. 

I understand that in custody cases all can seem adversarial.

PLEASE understand that I am writing to give my perspective

and state my understanding of your needs and my responsibilities. 

Most importantly, however,

I would like to facillitate your relationship with [daughter] through all aspects, inclusive of these mailings. 

I hope you can be more helpful to me by correcting any views which I expressed below so I may best meet your wishes and expectations of the mediation agreement.

(FYI: I have not recieved any post cards as agreed to in mediation. 

I am awaiting two from last week.  I will update when I get them. :)  [daughter] will surely love your mail!)

Thanks for your kind consideration.

Clarification of Mailing Issue:

1.    Sent you the required mailings, as per our agreement.  November mailing is fulfilled. 

It is the 17th.  Over an above requirement in agreement, will send other work by Wednesday, exclusive of [daughter]’s scrapbook.

RE:   Mediation agreement: I fulfilled the “at minimum, once monthly” requirement.  However, I am not limiting [daughter]’s mailings to you to once monthly.  I will get more to you- most likely weekly.  You have one already.  You will have the other by week’s end. Let’s be kind, please, and avoid attorney fees with cc’s for email reviews.

1.Copy fees are an additional expense for color and I would be glad for you to see her color choices in her work. 

RE:   Mediation agreement: I fulfilled getting [daughter]’s work to you.

      Though there is no requirement for colored copies, I am happy to have colored copies made.  Please let me know if you are able to send a copy card with any funds for Staples so I may best meet your additional request, post mediation agreement. 

      I am happy to share the costs. 

      Any amount will be appreciated. Otherwise I will send as I can best afford.

HERE is the phone number of the STAPLES so you may determine the prices:

STAPLES Phone: [XXX]. [XXX].2899  / FAx is [XXX].[XXX].4668. 

I can even pick up a copy card there or copy colored copies off an account you may have an option to set up. 

BE SURE, THIS IS NOT A REQUIREMENT for YOU TO PAY FOR COLORED COPIES.

I AM WILLING TO TAKE ON THE COSTS FOR COLOR COPIES ON MY OWN. 

I’m sure you will enjoy her beautiful work.

3.    Your prepaid box is here and being filled regullarly.  I can use that to send your colored copies this week if you’d like.  Or I can keep for scrapbook mailing upon your request and arrangements via email.  Please let me know.

Re:   Mediation agreement:  You were to supply self-addressed, stamped envelopes.

I not only paid for all copies, but I paid for postage. 

Though you did not fulfill your agreement to provide the necessary mailing supplies,

I remained compliant with sending you [daughter]’s work in a timely manner- in early November. 

I was happy to do so and I am glad to know that you have received the mailing.

4.    Report card can only be available to me when the school issues.  I have it to send this week.  You will get it before end of week. 

Photos will be sent in the next mailing.  I am sure you will enjoy the variety of photos.

Sorry that your phone could not recieve the phone mailed photos as I took pictures of [daughter] in the past at various outings and school events.  But, hardcopies via mail should be a good way to make sure you have pics of our little [daughter].

Re:   Mediation agreement:  I am currently still in compliance since Novemenber is not yet up. There is no agreement that I should provide you a scrapbook of [daughter]’s time. 

However, if you would like a scrapbook that I have already prepared with

your photos of her siblings and Ms. [spelled incorrectly Step Mother] you have sent via e-mail,

of pictures we have taken here with her gifts sent to [spelled incorrectly Step Mother] on mother’s day,

pictures from my previous [last name] in-laws and nieces/ nephews which I have gotten over the years here in [other state], 

and of all other phone photos I have sent you through the years,

I would be happy to make a copy of the pages. 

Again, please let me know if your are interested in splitting the costs to supply a scrapbook for [daughter]’s [home state] family.

REINFORCED CLARIFICATION RE: COSTS for all copies: 

1.    REQUEST FOR YOU TO CONTRIBUTE ARE NOT REQUIRED BY ME.

2.    I WILL [home state]Y FOR ALL AND SEND BY END OF NOVEMBER.

3.    HOPE YOU MAY SHARE WITH ALL [LAST NAME] FAMILY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON.

Kindly Regards,

[The Ex] [last name]

[XXX].[XXX].4665 

                        

NOTE: END OF [THE EX]’S RESPONSE TO FH DISCONTENT OF MAILINGS ON NM’S WORK.

From: [Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial dad email]@[email].com>

To:   [The Ex] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

Cc:   [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] <[Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]@[Custodial Dad's Law Firm]>

Sent: Saturday, November 15, 2008 4:20:01 PM

Subject:    the package

[The Ex];

I received the “package” which I assume is your attempt at compliance with the Mediated order we both agreed to on October 29, 2008.

The contents were—

a.    hastily thrown together;

b.    photo copied sloppily and in black and white—despite the obvious color of the originals;

c.    curiously missing her report cards and photos and;

d.    not utilizing the ample sized package that I had previously paid for and sent with my last package.

I will state my obvious disappointment.  You have promised me pictures, art work and report cards since March stating you were “compiling a package.”  The package I received contained seven (7) sheets, I can assure you that this is not what I/we agreed to nor what you have alluded to in no less than ten email messages.  The most clear and concise message was on May 25th where you clearly stated, “You will have school work, photos and report cards all in one beautiful keepsake book. Waiting for the last set of shots to be developed... let me know if you just want what I have so far... I can always make other books with photos of you all in them.”

I will again, defer this to [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] so that he may note this and discuss your obvious lack of compliance with [Ex’s first other state lawyer], yet again.  Do note that it has already been four weeks since the order and you have failed at every juncture to hold up your end of the bargain consistently.  You know, this would be cheaper if you simply did the right thing instead of constantly needing attorney interference.

My children and I are sending [daughter] post cards, I do hope at the very least you are allowing [daughter] to actually receive them.  I will look forward to seeing [daughter] on [webcam software] on Sunday.  Please, please ensure that it is up and running prior to the 7:15 start time

--

[Custodial Dad] X [last name]

[XXX]-[xxx]-0185

[Custodial dad email]@[email].com

~ Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn’t seem to be working.

* Anonymous ~

[Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial dad email]@[email].com>  Mon, Nov 17, 2008 at 3:12 PM 

To:   [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

Cc:   “[Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]” <[Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]@[Custodial Dad's Law Firm]>

Bcc:  Wife <[Step Mother’s email]@[email].com> 

      [The Ex];

In assumed you would be utilizing the pre-paid box I sent to you MONTHS ago.  That is a pre-existing fulfillment of my agreement in mediation.  I will, once again, send you pre-paid envelopes.  However, the pre-paid box is simply sitting there unused and I assumed I would have receive that initially.

You are correct, the order does not state color copies as it is indicative that ORIGINALS be sent.  Send originals and that will reduce your expense especially since I am supplying the mailing supplies.

I expected past report cards as well as current.  I also expect photos and not photocopies of pictures.

Post cards are forthcoming - her siblings and I mailed some already.

I do not want nor need a scrapbook.  I want the items as promised.  As [Step Mother] has stated to you, she is a published “scrapper” and will be happy to create one for our family.

You are under the impression that I am made of money.  I have expenses just like you do, however I am not relying on anyone but myself to pay for my expenses, legal fees or to take care of my children.

I have already sent notice to my attorney.  I have no interest in playing this tit-for-tat games with you and will let him handle this as well as your non-compliance with [webcam software] and telephone calls.  If you want to save fees, do what you agree to. You can not have it both ways.

X

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[The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com> 

Wed, Nov 19, 2008 at 9:06 AM 

To:   [Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial dad email]@[email].com> 

     

Hi, [Custodial Dad].

     

I will bear all costs in my last email, as I clearly stated.

     

You want original photos and originals of N’s work. 

     

You got it.  I’ll send them. 

     

Mediation agreement precludes need for redundancy on all addressed issues.

Kindly modify the tone and approach in your messages to me. 

[Custodial Dad], work with me to foster amicable communication, please.

I believe you can try to write me without the condescension and hostility displayed below.

I make an effort to be professional and respectful to you.

My assertion of intolerance for messages historically devoid of peace and 

statements wroth with animosity  is long overdue. 

Additionally, I have seen this behavior consistently in your communication with Attorney [last name].

 

Please take notice and let’s change this pattern for long term success for [daughter].

Thanks for your kind consideration.  enjoy your packages of [daughter]’s work. :)

From: [Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial dad email]@[email].com>

To:   [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

Cc:   [Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer] <[Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]@[Custodial Dad's Law Firm]>

Sent: Monday, November 17, 2008 2:12:01 PM

Subject:    Re: [The Ex]’s Clarifications Re: the package

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[Custodial dad email] <[Custodial dad email]@[email].com>  Wed, Nov 19, 2008 at 10:00 AM 

To:   [The Ex] <[the ex email]@[email].com> 

Subject:    Re: [The Ex]’s Clarifications Re: the package

[The Ex];

You do not get to call me a pervert and withhold [daughter] from me and then expect me to be all sunshine and flowers.  I am trying my best to be to the point and amicable; however, if you take my tone as hostile, then maybe we

need to have the attorneys discuss these matters between them.

Mediation precludes redundancy when compliance is met.  You have

failed compliance at EVERY turn and my attorney will address that

directly.

Your claims towards “historically” un-peaceful messages leave not far

from your own inbox and telephone conversations. Per my own

recollection, I have barely stated two words to your attorney however,

your characterization of her leads me to wonder why you chose to hire

her.

I would appreciate if we just do what is required of us and not

nit-pick the details as indicated in my last two messages.  Further,

it is not necessary to consistently call my home to speak with [Step Mother]

specifically when you can readily assume that I am not there.

X

From: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

Date: November 19, 2008 8:06:05 AM EST

To:   [Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial dad email]@[email].com>

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[Custodial Dad] [last name] <[Custodial dad email]@[email].com>  Tue, Dec 2, 2008 at 11:21 AM 

To:   [The Ex] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

Cc:   “[Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]” <[Custodial Dad’s other state lawyer]@[Custodial Dad's Law Firm]>

Bcc:  Wife <[Step Mother’s email]@[email].com> 

      [The Ex]

      You wrote in your labeled “Clarification of Mailing Issue: “ #1 that as of the 19th (of last month) you were mailing out the REQUIRED school work etc from [daughter]; today is the 2nd of December and there is NO PACKAGE YET.

      There are also SEVERAL other promises made in your statement(s) that you have yet to fulfill.

      I again remind you, you are in possession of a pre-paid box from SEVERAL months ago... I was also in [town in other state] ALL Holiday Weekend and there was AMPLE time for you to ‘make up a package’ then, thus saving that very-same-box for the December mailing.

      I await my daughters (original) information per your dictated mediation agreement.

      Also, [daughter] had mentioned several times that she “didn’t know where her mail box is” so I am afraid she is NOT receiving her sister and brothers (as well as my own) postcards, etc. That being said; I am sending down several pre-paid mail pouches (per the mediated order) as well as some art work and several personal notes to [daughter], these will help facilitate her contact/conversation(s) with all of us here in [home state].

      [Custodial Dad]

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From: [The Ex] [last name] <[the ex email]@[email].com>

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